A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A month ago I went to a wedding and met a guy there. After the wedding reception was over we wound up drinking and talking for 5 hours and then hooked up (everything short of full sex, as neither of us had condoms with us). We live in different countries, but exchanged numbers anyway and have been texting back and forth every day or so since. To be totally honest, if we lived in the same place it would be great to date him, but it's just not practical, so I figured it would just be a fun one-off - but then he texted me...Next month, I'm going to visit a cousin who lives in the same city as this guy. Should I tell him I'm going to be there and suggest we meet for a drink? Or will this just make it look like I'm either some clingy chick who can't cope with the fact we hooked up, or that I'm desperate to see him again? I really don't want to give that impression!Any thoughts? I know this seems kinda juvenile, but to be honest I'm really not very experienced at the whole hook-up/sex/dating scene so was hoping for some advice...
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condom, cousin, different countries, exchanged numbers, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, Uncle Phil, that really helps!
Yes, he does know that - it was just that since I've not been sexually active before (and hadn't planned it in advance) I didn't even think of bringing condoms, guess I'll know better next time.
Re beer goggles - I was pretty drunk even before the two of us started drinking together, but I'd met him earlier in the evening so the beer goggles thing isn't a problem, and he wasn't all that drunk, so I don't think he had them on. To be honest, I would totally not have gone back to his hotel room had I been sober, but it was fun and I'm glad I did, so I think I'll take your advice and let him know when I'll be in his part of the world.
Thanks again :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): I assume that if you had condoms at the wedding do you would have had sex and he knows that?
If so, it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that's what you'd be after this time. But so what? Two consenting adults behaving in a commonsense manner. Nothing wrong with that. The fact that you live in different countries suggests that this isn't going to be a long-term thing unless someone moves house.
I just hope that neither of you were wearing beer goggles at the wedding or someone could wind up disappointed!
Get in touch with him if that's what you want to do. It won't make the slightest bit of difference to him if you sound desperate or not.
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