A
female
age
41-50,
*hining Star
writes:I'm a 20 something year old with a 49yr old man. When he met me I partied very hard and I wore very little clothing. Now I wear covering up clothing which I love cause it leaves imagintion to the people, but makes him made to see people still looking at me and he has also given me five amazing little dogs that I love to death, which I feel he did to keep me home alot. We've been together for 5yrs. Let me start from the begining: I didn't know he had two kids until later the son and I don't get along at all and the daughter doesn't like the father cause he was never there for her. We use to go out now he make reasons that we can't cause of the dogs, even though we have a sitter for them. When we argue, he threatens to go back to Greece and start a new life there and leave me to feand for myself and take on ALOT of bills he started. He has started fights on New Years, my B-Day in front of my family and friends and this 4th of July to get out of doing things or to not see me happy, I can't get that at all. The last thing we haven't had intercourse in 4 weeks and when I set everything up for us to enjoy eachother he started another arguement. I understand he has alot on his plate, with opening a new business w/ his son and his son's girlfriend and his daughter that he took care of with child support and talked once in a while, told him she didn't want him @ her wedding which I saw hurt him. It just seems like so many things that I just don't know anymore, maybe I'm over reacting or if I should start a job and begin to move on? I need some BIG help!
View related questions:
move on, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 July 2007):
 You are 20 and have been with this old fart since you were 15? He should be sitting in jail. You are wasting your youth on grandpa. Get out and start enjoying life.
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 Hi,
I can see clearly from your posting that right now he has alot on his plate and so do you! I dont think you are over reacting at all, all these most be overwhelmming for anyone.
My advise is that you shouldnt continuing build your life around him. Try to do your own things. Get a job to start with and try to stand on your own two feet. Him threatening you to go to greece isnt fair and he clearly sees you as dependent on him. Make him see you can take care of yourself, which i know u can and want to.
I can seem that he has helped changed your life a bit making your more focus than you original were before you met him. I think he has been a positive in your life in the past, but the decision to move on should be entirely up to you. What i would do if i were you and if i loved him is to give getting a job and less depedent on him a chance first and see if that might help the situation abit.
Hope i helped abit. Goodluck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): Judging from your writing, you need more help than simple internet advice can provide. Dump him, don't date until you've graduated from a university, or at least learn proper grammar. You've got some life lessons to learn, and they won't be from a guy old enough to be your grandfather. Guy's that old want one thing--and once there bored with that, what good are you? He has priorities in his life, and guess what? It ain't you. Try dating someone who doesn't already have children.
Don't you want to have children some day? What were you thinking? Good rule of thumb for dating age ranges (YOUR AGE)/(2)-5. So if you're 30, half of that would be 15, minus 5, means you shouldn't date anyone over 40.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): You know the answer to this one already. Let me start with what you have said.1) You bring up the age gap 2) His jealous attitude even though you were far more outgoing and in my opinion acting more like the 20 something you are.3) He does not hold your trust not trusts you since he did not tell you about the children till late.4) Your families do not get along.5) The pets you have now seem to you to be more of a burden [proof: which I feel he did to keep me home a lot]6) No intercourse in four weeks even when you took the effort to set the mood7) Most importantly he is threatening to WALK OUT!!===========You have said everything there yourself. You don't share the same lifestyle outlooks, he is not trustworthy.If the only thing keeping you with him is financial then you should check on whose name the bills are actually on.If you are married look to get out.If not walk out.Get a job for crying out loud, it improves your self image, makes you independent and you wouldn't have thought twice before leaving a guy who is a quarter of a century older than you.
...............................
|
