A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have few questions. My b/f and me just started having sex last week. I lost my virginity to him last Friday. Since then we have had sex every day. It was a little uncomfortable the first 10 times but now it is better. He said he stretched me out and that is normal.Can anyone tell me how long it is supposed to last? The first time he finished inside me quick, maybe a minute. We waited about 10 minutes and did it again then he lasted about 5 minutes. So we waited about a half hour and he finaly got hard again and lasted 10 minutes. We tried a 4 times and tired everything, my hand, oral, my breasts, but he barely got hard and only lasted a minute then got too soft. He said he was empty. The 4 time I was pretty wet by then and it felt better. I know wetter is better. The same thing happened again and again. We done it about 20 times since last Friday. Each time I start to orgasm he finishes and its over bfore I orgasm. Yesterday when we got to the 4 time I got tingley and thought I was starting orgasm but he was empty and got limp again. I tried to get him hard again but he said his penis hurt and was empty again.my friend said it is better if we orgasm together, so i want to try that. Is there anyway I can speed up so I orgasm when he finishes inside me at the same time. Is there any way he can go longer before he is empty? And don't mis judge me about not using a condom, I am on the pill.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 July 2010):
 "He said he stretched me out and that is normal." Actually it shouldn't hurt less because he "stretched" you, it hurts less because you know to be turned on, you know better what to expect, etc... Since it took 10 times to stop hurting I'm guessing you're not getting enough foreplay. You should be be VERY turned on before you have sex. Like, getting close to orgasm is a good goal for foreplay. Sex should NEVER hurt. Not even to get started. If he can't just kind of, slide it in without pain you're not there yet. Most women can't orgasm from sex alone, so you shouldn't expect it especially not until you're more experienced. Can you orgasm from masturbation? You should practice getting to know your own body in terms of what feels good and turns you on. You should be in positions where you can touch yourself and lend a hand. Also, you shouldn't aim to have sex as many times as you can before he "runs out." You should talk to him about showing some restraint in that instead of just kind of pounding it out til he finishes, he can go a little slower and stop before finishing. Then you take a break and focus on you for awhile until he calms down a bit, then resume. It will be way better for BOTH of you. I can't imagine it's much fun for him trying to go like 4 times in a row rather than just having one great orgasm. Plus it will allow you to have a better shot. Also, to reiterate, you shouldn't totally count on sex making you orgasm as only around 25% of women can get enough stimulation from it. You should try oral sex, or just finish things by hand.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 You need to have your guy practice on lasting longer. He also needs to perform foreplay on you and get you to almost come. Then when he goes in you you will already be close to the edge.
But as a last note... good heavens you must have natural talent of you really expect to come from intercourse. I have a friend who had that happen once, and I've never had that happen. And for you to come in 10 minutes? I take at least 20-30 minutes. I think you might be expecting too much.
Has he ever made you come from oral? How fast can you get yourself off when masturbating?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): Foreplay is the key. Never mind having sex 3 or four times. Make the first time last, its always best. I had the same problem when i first started. Enjoy kissing and cuddling, don't go straight into intercourse.. Explore each others bodys with hands and tongues. Try getting your boyfriend to give you oral, rather than you giving it to him. The sensation is amazing, try various techniques such as him exploring down there with his tongue and nothing else. Introduce a rule where no hands are allowed. Or maybe try foreplay where one of you is blindfolded (it's better when you are). This will have you coming in no time as you won't know what he is doing until he is doing it. It works for me anyway, me and my partner orgasm together each time we have sex now!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): Perhaps you need to work out another way to orgasm or become aroused which doesn't just involve penetrative sex. Perhaps if you both spent more time on foreplay then when do did actually get round to penetration you would come more quickly. He could try fingering you, massage, stroking, all sorts of things, before you actually get down to sex.
Also, if you find another way to come, such as fingering, then if your bf comes quickly he can still satisfy you.
This will also vary your sex life and make it more interesting. Your bf will last longer with time and practice, but until then you need to experiment and work out some alternative ways for him to pleasure you. By the way, if he wears a condom it may well make him last longer as it brings a degree of desensitisation, so it might actually be a sensible thing to do.
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A
female
reader, missdimples3 +, writes (22 July 2010):
 I know what you mean lol! try this.. cloths on teasing n playing with each other till you get really wet n feel like you are about to do it then start taking cloths off. i know this sounds a bit weird or stupid but I tried everything too.. when I tried that it starts working a bit better! its 2 things.. he cum REALLY fast and you're new to this. also after he cums and if you're really close he could def. try n use his hand on u!
good luck..
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