A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last year I got back in contact with someone I knew years ago. We live hundreds of miles away from each other so have mostly spoken via the net, phone and text. We have both admitted that we are attracted to each other. And have seen each other once or twice, I was invited to his not so long ago for a long weekend. And last year he stayed over at mine, and I have told him that he is welcome anytime.Nothing has happened between us, he says that he doesn't want a relationship and thinks that he will always be single. Though he has admitted that he really likes me. In fact everything was great until he drunkenly told me that he loved me and the next day when I mentioned it to him he went all funny and said that we need to stop talking as often.Last week he told me that he was coming to my hometown (where he grew up) to collect some things that he had left here when he moved. So later in the week I asked if he wants to meet up whilst he's here, he says that it is a flying visit. Why tell me that he is coming up at all if that's the case. We have talked and decided on being mates which is fine, but wouldn't you want to catch up with a mate that you don't get to see too often? I don't get him. We get along great and can talk for hours, we have a right good laugh. What do I do? Though I think that I know the answer deep down.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmmm I did think that maybe you were right and that he wasn't really interested. But then I told him that I didn't want to stay mates any longer because everything keeps being misunderstood on both sides, that it's a shame because I could see myself falling for him. He said that's why he he didn't want to meet up because he would fall for me too, but that he didn't want anything long distance. We've messed it up good and proper now, as I have asked why he didn't want anything? And he has gone all defensive and been quite offhand, telling me that I have misunderstood what he has said, though it was there in black and white. I have been there for him for the past year and a half through some bad times as a mate. Things were left on a bad vibe and I have tried to apologise (though I know that it is not only me at fault) and have tried to clear the air but he doesn't seem bothered.
I've come to realise that I have probably just been taken for a ride. I can't keep doing this, I really care about him, but if he doesn't want anything I need to to find someone who does.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): Why wouldn't he tell you? It would be odd if he never mentioned it actually. I think you know the answer deep down too. You are just going to have to consider him a pen pal or phone friend. I think it would be a heck of a lot more exciting to spend time on a guy that was actually into you!
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