A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i have had a sexual relationship with a man for over 4 yrs now and in a recent conversation i made a coment to him stating that i feel i "scare him". not to say i am a scary type of woman but because of the type of person that i am. he kind sorta agreed and went on to say that he doesn't deserve me because of the kind of heart that he knows i have. I always thought that strong independent women are what most men are looking for now a days. what in the world could be this man's problem? could it be just another excuse for him to get closer or could there be more feelings other than sexual ones that he is unwilling to admit too? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): Some people are afraid of committment, and he sounds like one of them. I'm a woman, 53, very attractive and never married. I've had plenty of boyfriends, but every time a man gets close to me, I check out emotionally. I find something "wrong" with that person and convince myself he just isn't right for me. It scares me to death to think of committing to one person. It literally makes me panic. Why? I don't really know. I've never been to therapy, and probably need to go if I ever want to find out. Anyway, I'm telling you this because in the little bit of information you give here, he sounds like he may be afraid of committment and uses other excuses to avoid getting close. Unless he has the ability to closely and honestly examine his own feelings and motives, and then fully explain them to you, you probably won't get a satisfactory answer from him. And take it from a committment-phobe - if indeed that is his problem, nothing you can say or do is going to make any difference. If you want a more committed relationship, you will probably have to look elsewhere for it. Good luck.
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