A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have 'agreed' not to have sex yet, but we pretty much do other things.This weekend we simulated things, she used the tip of my penis to stimulate her clitoris, i had my boxers on, she had her pants off.I also think she has a very sensitive clitoris because it doesn't take it long for her to climax i think, and she doesn't want me to touch her down there for a long time afterwards.With this constraint of not having sex (although her doing this makes me think we could if we aren't careful), what else can i do to spice things up?She likes kissing (not open mouthed which sucks),likes her neck kissed and breasts given attention, also loves cuddling a lot.what else can i do to liven things up or to be experimental? she in passing mentioned anal sex but that is not my thing, seems gross!
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anal sex, breasts, clitoris, kissing, my penis Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 If I were you, I wouldn't do that with the penis on the clitoris again. You've shown a great and impressive amount of restraint, but there is danger of losing control on both of your parts, and if that happens, she will most likely blame you. If you're trying not to have sex, that is way too close. Better to dry hump with clothes on both of you rather than this. It could be so simple to slip out of your boxers and while thrusting, just enter. I think you already know this. Also, you ejaculating in that area with her pants off does carry the slight rare chance of pregnancy. Believe me, it has happened before.
This seems kinda one-sided. You mention that you do things which she likes. This is good, but is there give and take? Are you also doing things that YOU like? I get the no sex thing, but are these physical exchanges satisfying to you? Are you feeling orgasmic release as well as she is?
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (1 May 2012):
 How long have you been dating?
Seems very odd to me she would mention anal (which personally is gross and totally unnatural), yet has agreed not to have normal sex with you? I dont get that at all. Is she trying to preserve her 'technical' virginity?
Massage is always nice.....
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A
male
reader, nevnev +, writes (1 May 2012):
Hi Anon! It seems the two of you have already started having sex. Admittedly, it is non-coital, but you are still enjoying each other's sexual stimulation. Indeed, you have said that "it doesn't take her long to climax" and "touch her down there ... afterwards." It seems you have belittled the act of cuddling. In my humble opinion, cuddling is one of the purest forms of erotic expression. It takes no skill, and all it requires is for two people to lock limbs. Everyone can be assured that they are not a "bad cuddler." I recommend... 0. Praise 1. Cuddling 2. Kissing 3. Nuzzling 4. New location (pref. nature) 5. Employ favorite childhood memories I do not know how well this will work for you, but you could try it. Tell her how great a woman she is. Hold her as if you will never let go. Kiss her and nuzzle her to show her what comfort her companionship provides. Free her from day-to-day life by being a child again: play in mud, run through the forest, light a fire, make s'mores, take a warm (bubble?) bath together, drink hot chocolate, strip to games, and play in the rain. Try it. :-)Sincerely,Nevnev
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (1 May 2012):
 [Mod note: this aunt has provided some guidance which is too strong for the general site. Please send him a PM if you wish to read his advice.]Note to Mods - sorry about being so explicit, but we were asked! If you feel that this is too strong for this open forum. please pass my details on for a PM.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 Talk to her about what works for the both of you. Have plenty of foreplay and oral sex if you both are up for that. Just talk to her and ask her is there anything she would like to try to spice things up and tell her what you would like as well.
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