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We have broken up and I cant stand her flirting with others...i need time for us to be friends.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 March 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *igitaljester writes:

Ok I broke up with my girlfriend, the issue is:

I've not told a girl before I loved her, and I did to her and meant it. She told me she loved me.

However, following valentines day and my birthday she told me and wrote to me telling me she loved me, and then a week after my birthday she broke up with me.

I still love her, but can't bear to see her flirting with others, I can be friends with her but need time -she doesnt understand this and is angry with me for getting angry, I just wish I could get back with her and can't be sensible and cut ties because I miss her. I'm a really nice guy and others think I'd get a beautiful girlfriend easily, but I can't and I miss her too much.

What should i do? Should i try to get her back?

View related questions: broke up, flirt

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

Friend, I feel your pain. I have literally just been throught the exact same thing (except I broke up with her). Really, really messy because we both said we loved each other.

TRUST ME, have faith in yourself. If you are a nice guy like you say you are, you will find another girl. A girl who appreciates you for who you are. A girl who you will know is the one. Its shitty and hard at the moment because you still have such strong feelings for her. There is a 'wound' there, let it heal. This unfortunately means zero contact with her. Delete her number, delete her email, delete her MSN, and move on. Get support from friends and family.

Its hard but you need to do it. Who knows, you may find someone you love even more in the weeks to come. Give up hope with her, thats the main thing. Denial will just prolong your pain. She dumped you on your ass. Shes not interested. People who love each other and are meant to be with each other do not do that kind of thing.

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A male reader, digitaljester United Kingdom +, writes (13 March 2008):

digitaljester is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for all the advice!

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A female reader, youngandconfused90 United States +, writes (12 March 2008):

youngandconfused90 agony auntNo,

dont chase after her, she will get way to much pleasure from it! In fact turn the tables. She is probably flirting in front of you on purpose, why dont you go out there find you a good rebound and get over this girl. If you put your attention else were she will probably come crawling back to you and if that happens do not go for it because she will unconsciously just be trying to get the power back. Its going to be hard to get over those feelings, it takes time but you can do it and you can walk away from that relationship knowing a lot more.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (12 March 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntNo, she sounds like an ass. (No offense, but I don't like it when people play games.)

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