A
female
age
36-40,
*ickee
writes:Okay I've been seeing this guy for 3 years. We both told eachother we love one another. We don't have a "title". He told me he sees himself being with me, sometimes I feel like he doesn't want to commit and I've told him how i felt.. He says I'm worth being with but isn't ready to be committed right now. Am I wasting my time? He's also stubborn. A Taurus. I do love him and I know he loves me but why is he scared of a commitment? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (3 September 2012):
 You want different things from this relationship: you want commitment and security whereas he wants to keep his options open. If after three years together he's still not sure you're the one for him, he probably never will be.Explain this to him, and if he still doesn't feel ready to commit then you'll have little option other than to end the relationship.
A
female
reader, too solid for you +, writes (3 September 2012):
If you two really love one another, but he doesn't want to commit; maybe you should call it quits just for now. If it's really meant to be you have to let go and if he comes back to you then he's yours forever. If you continue to go down this road he will always think that it's ok to keep doing you this way and in the end you will be the one whose hurt.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Leave while you can. I have seen this happen many times before and it never ends well. It's better to break off a 3 year relationship, than a 5, 8, or 11 year one. Be young, date others and don't waste your youth on someone who will dump you the second they find someone who they actually want to commit to. This is what it all comes down to: lack of desire to settle down with YOU. You're simply not the woman for him and this is why he doesn't want to commit to you. You're wasting your time, your emotions and energy on someone who will stomp on it the second they find someone better. This is how the real world rolls. The sooner you realize that men will stay in relationships because they like company, the love and the sex without fully committing, the sooner you will realize how disposable you really are to him. I have seen women that stayed in relationships even longer than you. Then all of a sudden, they get dumped because the man found the woman they truly love. Before you know it, they're married within 2 years, leaving you wondering what the hell happened and how they can move on so soon. It all comes down to that phrase: he's just not that into you.
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A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Maybe he is worried that if it get's too good then something really bad will come with it.I mean you've told him how you felt so he knows maybe he just isn't the type of guy to share his feelings with you.Maybe right now he feels the time isn't right maybe he wants the moment to be perfect for you and wants to surprise you rather than just tell you out right.He may have had something happen to him in the past that has made him as you say "scared of commitment". AS Janniepeg says it does depends on whether you are willing to wait for him to be ready. I am quite a stubborn girl but some people are sometimes it's a good quality depends on how you see it really.If you are ready to commit but feel he will never commit and you feel you cannot wait then maybe you should find someone who is ready to commit with you.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, MissSpencer  +, writes (3 September 2012):
okay there is a problem here!3 years is too long a time to be with someone who wants to have his cake and eat it too! If he says he loves u he should have committed along time ago.You clearly have gotten to a point where you want more, or atleast u always have buh now its jus getn to you that this relationship may not be right for you.Alot of people can hack relationships tha are open, commitment free...but u are not one of them. There's nothing wrng with that you just need to find someone with whom you will be able to give uo heart to and recieve not jus love buh commitment from.Our happiness is not just with a particular person, anyone can be our happy-ever-after..but most importantly uo joy lie within you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Not all men are built for marriage and family, but they still like dating women. It depends on how much longer you are willing to wait for him. Stubborn is not a bad thing. In a good way it can mean that a young man will not bow down to the fun loving culture and refuse to feel weird about wanting family and kids at a young age. If freedom is what he wants you have to respect his wishes because if he doesn't want the same things as you do and feel like commitment is an obligation rather than a wonderful journey, then neither of you will have good results.
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