A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 26 yrs old unmarried girl and I will be 27 yrs in Jan 08. A 40 yrs old married man with 2 kids (wife no more) loves me a lot and even I also like him ) he wants to marry me. But I m afraid whether this mrrg will be successful or not as there is a difference of 13 yrs in our age and he is having 2 kids 11 and 6 yrs. old respectively. He cannot live without me. Pls. help me what shall I do??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): I agree that he is looking for a substitute mother. Getting into a already made family is very very hard to do, especially if you want to have children. My husband is 10 years older that me and has 2 children to his ex wife. We have 1 child together. It has caused so many problems in our relationship and if we didn't have a child together, we probably wouldn't of got married and stayed together. As far as the age difference, there is too many years in there and we were raised in different generations which causes us to think very differently about too many things. Sit down and way your pros and cons first and make sure you really love this man and he does you before you just into a marriage. Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): Just my comment, but it really sounds like he is looking for a substitute 'mom' to help him raise his children. Do you think this could be why he's fast tracking the marriage thing? Is he struggling and finding it difficult on his own. This is a monumental responsibility and undertaking and I do feel you should rethink this, at this time. He could be still mourning and the children need time to adapt to this huge loss, as well. Tell him you want to wait at the least...one year. Give him and the kids time to make the efforts to work out their grief.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): see his wife expired on 25th April 07 and he knows me from 29th April 06.
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A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 I dont know if I understood you correctly. Is he currently married or divorced? If divorced (or widowed) for how long? Honestly I think these are more important questions than the age gap. Another question to ask your self is are you ready to be a step-mother of 2 children? Its a package deal when you marry with children. They are very important in figuring out what you should do. Please clarify your situation if you would and Im sure you will get some great advice.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 If you are unsure about getting married then say no to the guy, or maybe in the future.
13 years is a large age gap, but it can work. My friends parents have 16 years between them and they are very happy together.
Depends how you feel about the man and what you both want. Do you want kids and he doesn't want anymore? Do you care for him like he cares for you?
Talk to him about this and see what he says.
xxxxxx
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