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female
,
anonymous
writes: we have been on this relation for a 6yrs now.because of this we get delayed to get married.but he loves me very much.but 2 yrs back he has an affair that he told me,and have a kid also.beacuse of this our relation had gone apart for sometime.at this time he used to take drugs.and because of this it happend.but he is asking for my forgiveness and wants to be with me only.he says it just happend,dat the other girl was onto him,and he had no power at dat time.i love him very much and wants to accept him.and also he has stopped using drugs completely.and my family is also against it.now he is a respected person and we have planned to get married coming february.and also recently i also had an affair with someone else thinking that i shud move on.but i cannot get him out of my life.he got very angy when i cheated him.but still wants to be with me.pls help if i am doing the right thing.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): I agree. Your relationship is over. You cheated on him why? Because you couldn't control your feelings and prefered to live in the "now". Forget that rediculous notion of having to "forgive" him for his past drug taking. It is you who needs forgiveness. From yourself.
You've both cheated on yourself - what kind of future does that bring? Not one I could ever happily live with. There's millions of other people out there, I suggest you both go find someone and forget about your regretable lives together.
A
male
reader, d4u04  +, writes (27 November 2006):
 I don't think you are doing the right thing to be honest, relationships can be worked through I agree but when there was already this much lying to begin with, it gets very hard.
Because of your history already, I would say the relationship is too far gone my dear, obviously you both have issues and personally, the way I would deal with my issues if I were you is to completely break up with him, and sort your head out on your own.
If, in time you still feel the same way, then fair enough, by all means give it a go, but not until you're sure that you are both in the same emotional place (i.e. marraige)
Good Luck x
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