A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here is my story, please if anyone can help with advice:I am 23 and my boyfriend is 26. He is not from the US and came here to work and start a life. We met and things were amazing, we hit it off right away. We decided to move in together (probably too soon). Things were going well until a friend of his came to stay. The friend was only supposed to be temporary but became permenent. Things were rocky after this. We had our fights, ups and downs but overall we loved each other. He always told me he loved me, wanted to marry me, would never let me go. Long story short, he sits me down on Monday and says " there just isn't anything there anymore". Out of the blue. He refused to talk more about it and wouldn't even look at me.finally after crying and being so upset i convinced him to talk. He said that he needs to sort out his life and work first. He does not know if he will even be here in the next two months. He said he dosen't have time to deal with a girlfriend or work on us right now. he has to deal with his own problems first. He also said that once he has dealt with everything we can try again and he will ahve time to devote to me. He said that he won't see anyone else, he will be too busy to do anything but his work. He also would not give me a time limit and I have to move out because hes not keeping the apartment.The day he broke up with me he added this younger 19 year old girl to his myspace account. this girl had come up before wanting to break us up but he assured me she was nothing. I also found that he was searching for her on other sites the same day we had our talk.. I don't know if i should wait for him or not. I want to believe he is sincere but he won't even touch me or hold me or kiss me or anything. he barely speaks to me. He was also very cold when we broke up, he said it was so he could deal with it, it was hard for him. do I give him space? What can i do to make him realize the girl he fell in love with and get him back again? I am so worried about him!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): I am going through a similar situation right now. If you don't give him space, it will only get worse. Trust me I know from experience, it may start to get better, but it will bite you in the butt. Give him space. IT IS SO HARD to move on. Make new friends, start new hobbies, start meeting new people. If he loves you, he will come back. Let him know you love him, you want to be with him, but you are willing to give him time. If he wants to be with you, he will come back. If not, you have new friends new hobbies, and are beginning a new life. PS. I feel your pain. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all your advice. I just have one more question/problem. I am having the most difficult time letting go. I feel like all of this was out of the blue, just the week before he was telling me i can't lose you i love you more than anything. I feel like he is doing this because he dosen't know what else to do. I really feel like he does not want this to happen. He comes into our old room and talks to me every morning and when he comes home, nothing serious, just about normal daily things. Most likely I am delusional but I think sometimes that i can see in his eyes that he wants to run over to me and hug me but he is holding himself back. Or maybe its just pity. how do I let this person go? I have been pretty good about not eng emotional, no texts, no emails, and just staying in my room or going out, but im dying on the inside. I wake up wanting to die. i have a hard time sleeping as well. I just want to believe that if i give him a week to sort things out and for me to not be with him he will come back around? Is this crazy or is it worth a shot?
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female
reader, rach91 +, writes (20 April 2007):
it sounds like maybe he fell out of love...and it also kinda sounds like he lied about not having enough time cuz' if he has enough time for his myspace he can surely make enough time for a human being that is or was his g/f...sorry but if u found some1 like him and u loved him then u can surely find some1 else that will appreciate u and put u be4 their myspace...good luck!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): first off sweetie you cant make anyone fall back in love with you, it's just not that simple. But i think he still does love you deep down, hes just a little overloaded at the moment. It may be that its come to a point in your relationship where theres nothing more you can do for him and him for you. It's upsetting hunnie, and i know you wont wake up tomorrow and feel happy all of a sudden but if you are strong and continue with your life hopefully he will see that and eventually want you back. If he says he needs time, then give it to him. I don't doubt he still loves you underneith it all just give him some space to understand his own feelings. good luck hun xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): My advice is to write him off, anon. It is obviously more than "work" that is occupying his thoughts and time. His method of "dumping" you, which is what he did, was crass and not very subtle. Forget the "trying again later" line. He may be wanting to keep two candles burning, "just in case". He doesn't deserve to keep your candle burning. Move on.
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