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female
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anonymous
writes:Last night my bf and I got into an argument about him going out with his work buddies after work to play pool. Well, by my understanding he was going to one of the guys' house because my bf had said he was going right down the road. He don't go to bars, so I didn't suspect that. I got a lil upset because it was already 10 and I had been waiting for him to get home. We have different work schedules and don't get to see too much of each other during the week, so I like the time we get to spend together. I was being a bit jealous. After a lil arguing, I decided to ask exactly where he was going because I thought I may be wrong about him going to a house. He was complaining about me going to restaurant bars and like a year ago I used to go to a bar that no one went to and now it's out of business. So then he said he would be going to the bar, which he doesn't ever go to bars, he definitely won't go with me and if I went to this one bar, I wouldn't hear the end of it because he thinks I know too many people that go there. Anyways, I did get mad because he didn't just come out and tell me at first that's what he was doing, he was going around it. He said he had said $1 beers and $.50 pool, which he did not. I was a bit upset after that because it seemed he was trying to not tell me exactly where he was going. I decided, whatever, so I told him to just go because we weren't gonna be talking anyways. He was pissed, I was pissed, so what would've been the difference. He didn't go. He said it was too late and he knows how it's gonna be now, which it's been this way for 5 years, so it's nothing new. I kinda wish he did now even though I got so mad. I don't like getting that mad, but I don't understand why he can't just tell me something instead of going around it. I don't know what to do. It was 10 at night. He don't ever do anything with his friends, I wouldn't consider these guys at work any of his friends though. I feel bad now cuz he really don't ever go out. I did tell him to just go and I wish he did. I know I got a lil overboard and now we're not gonna be talking.Anyone have any advice??? Please help!!!
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (7 April 2010):
 I have to change my advise now that you have given more info. You made a big deal out of nothing and should probably feel bad. Now when you go out do you flirt, do you hang out with other man, or do bad things.You need to trust your boyfriend and give him freedom. You need to work with your insecurities because if your boyfriend wants to go and have some drink with a couple of friends after long day at work I really don't see why he can't, you do. Try not to be to controlling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNope, I'm 27 and he's 25. We both work different hours during the week and I work on some weekends, so it's kinda hard to go out that much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe do go out together with our friends...it's not like he NEVER goes out...we usually go out at least once every two weeks. He just doesn't ever go alone because of his work schedule. I do, on the other hand, get to hang out with my friends once in awhile because he works evenings. I don't go to bars, but I do go out to eat. Neither of us are cooped up in the house all the time. While I'm at work he goes for bike rides and goes and sees a friend of his. He just don't go out to the bars. He does go out to eat with his friends sometimes too.
I will be talking to him later tonight, so hopefully the outcome is a good one.
Thanks for all the answers!!!
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 "He don't ever do anything with his friends, I wouldn't consider these guys at work any of his friends though. I feel bad now cuz he really don't ever go out."
And this what you think it is to be in love and happy... you and him both stuck at home, not allowed out, not allowed to fun with anyone else.
I'd appologise and tell him, you should go out with your men friends at least once a month, because it sure is lonely living life with no freinds at all.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (7 April 2010):
You were right in getting upset, Only for the reason that he doesn't let you go hang out to a bar. In a relationship it goes both ways for example "if you want me to be cooped up in the house guess what that means your going to be cooped up in the house with me." Its only fair dear if you can't go to bars and hang out with your friends than don't allow him to go. Now if he didn't like it or you don't like the outcome of this particular situation you two should come to an agreement of allowing each other time to go hang out with friends in a bar.
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