A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am so confused and upset.I met a man who shares the same interests and has everything in common with me. We started to see each other 3 months ago after we got to know each other. I fell completely for him- he is perfect to me in every way and he told me the same. I believed him. Two weeks ago he told me he loved me, but i was convinced he was just infatuated because he has never had a girlfriend before. over the weekend i told him I loved him too, and everything was perfect, but yesterday and today he has been acting very strange. He told me that he doesn't want to be commited, but I don't understand why. He says relationships scare him, but he has never had one. We did go very fast but I can't understant why he has suddenly changed his mind over night, he has stopped telling me he loves me and other nice things. I was in a relationship for 4 years before this man but i have never felt so strongly about another person in my life. How do I keep him interested when he has seemed to lose interest in me? I am so upset because he let me fall for him and I fell hard. We haven't slept together and he is a virgin, and I am afraid I am intimidating him. I am an attractive girl who is approached by men every day, but nobody compares to him, I am completely in love. I feel hurt, as if it was just the thrill of the chase and now that he has me he doesn't want me.Please can somebody offer some advice because I am very confused. I have been crying over this man. Before him I wanted nothing to do with a man for a very long time but he was so sweet and loving and kind and we seemed perfect together.Do you think he is just genuinely afraid, mentally ill...something?? I am head over heels and just want it to go back to normal. I need some advice,Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): it's just odd that he has never been into a relationship before and now he has commitment issues... sounds a bit too incredible for me. i'm sure you've thought this trough and that's why it was too important to leave out. if you have doubts, why bother. there are heaps of gorgeous, honest men out there who will care for you more.
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Talk to him maybe he is scare you did say its his first relationship and he is still a virgin. He might think this relationship is moving to fast for him. I think the first thing you have to do is to talk to him find out whats really bothering him, and that way you will know what the problem is and if its worth pursuing a relationship.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 I think communication is the key here, you need to have a sit down talk with him and try and get him to tell you whats wrong.
It may be moving too fast for him so he wants space to think, but if this is the case he will tell you with a bit of prompting.
Talk to him, give him space if thats what he needs.
If your meant to be together then it will happen.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Think of him as having some mental problems . He has a big mental block in his brain and he simply cannot get over it.
It may takes ages for him to overcome this mental block. If he is not ready to be committed, he won't be committed in the near future and it would be simply wasting your time on someone who has such a mentality.
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