A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey there hope you all are doing good! I'll probably say random info but hopefully it helps you help me. Well I need a bit of help here. I've been with my girlfriend for about 7 months now well ex girlfriend cause she broke up with me today. We've gotten into arguments before and had almost broke up with me 5 times before. And has said she doesn't feel like we should be together and stuff like that but also says she still loves me. Whenever I say something in a argument she either says well then don't be with me or she'll say she doesn't want to talk about it anymore which is unfore to me. Well last week she asked me how I feel about the relationship and I said I love her which to meis the highest thing you can say then I asked what she thought but then I said I probably already know cause all the bad things she said before but she surprised me and said she was getting happier in the relationship and thought of us all as a family. She has a 2 year out which has the same birthday as me. Her daughter really likes me and sometimes when I'm not there she calls out to me and sometimes just wants me to tuck her into bed. I love them both dearly. We got into an argument last Friday when I was taking her to work and her daughter to daycare cause she doesn't have a vehicle and I guess that set her into this mood where wanted to be alone right now. It was a stupid argument. So she said that she needs a break and that she needs to find out stuff for herself right now and it's easier to not be in a relationship. She said that there's a chance down the road to maybe get back together but she doesn't know right now. She's kind going through a lot right now but I just want to be there for her. I love them both like I said and she says she loves me to. Less than a month ago she asked if I loved her daughter and I said yes cause it's true I love her like she's my own kid. It sucks cause this is just before thanksgiving and Christmas and I was looking forward to spending it with them. Well she said if I truly loved her I'd give her the space. I admit that we have spent maybe too much time together since we met over 7 months ago. This is the girl I want to marry! I've always been there for her and her daughter especially when her daughter was sick and I took care of her while she had to work and I also took care of her while she was sick too. Sorry this was so long! They just mean the world to me and I just want to know what to do and how to get them back. Thanks for helping and if you need more info let me know.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2013):
 Six breakups in 7 months is NOT a good sign.
You can love someone and yet know you should not be a couple… it sounds to me like that is what is going on here.
If her answer to every argument is to say “well then don’t be with me” or to shut down and not communicate then she’s saying both with her words and her actions that she is not as interested in making this relationship work as you are.
I fear that her “ I need a break” is her gentle way of getting out of what she feels is a smothering relationship. She said “there is a chance down the road to maybe get back together” that’s not very hopeful.
I think the best thing to do for you is to go NO CONTACT and not call her or text her or email her or facebook her (no stalking on social media).
It’s going to be hard so you may want to “unfriend’ her on social media so you can’t see her living her life… do not text her or call her or contact her at all. In fact, deleting her info is probably in your best interest. It will be hard but you can get through this.
ONE CAVEAT: DO NOT sit around and WAIT for her to change her mind.. she might do it in 6 weeks or 6 months.. and that may mean you are her back up guy… get on with your life.. live it to the best of your ability after you have grieved this loss…. And do not let her pull you back in and do this to you again.. IF you get back together with her… make sure you have equal footing with her this time…
A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (17 November 2013):
 To start im sorry you are going through this break-up, but to be honest this seems like a story thats going to repeat itself from the information you have posted. To me it seems like your partner is being slightly imature in this relationship and slightly emotionally manipulative. Your both in ur 20's and she has a child and i would automatically expect somebody who has a daughter to have some form of maturity when in a adult relationship.
I think you should sit this lady down weigh out the pros and cons of how both of you act in arguments and what both of you can do to make these bad scenarios not happen so much anymore, espically when there is a child involved.
Relationships take a lot of work but communication is key to making it work :)
Good luck
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 November 2013):
You're obviously not compatible. But if you want to try anyways, you have to give her space. If you bug her you'll ruin your chances. If you stop calling/texting/etc, she will get her space and she may end up missing you. Not to mention it'll help you get over her if she decides to stay broken up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013): We've gotten into arguments before and had almost broke up with me 5 times before. what changed her mind? All the ass-kissing you do?And has said she doesn't feel like we should be together and stuff like that but also says she still loves me. Whenever I say something in a argument she either says well then don't be with me or she'll say she doesn't want to talk about it anymore which is unfore to meding, ding, ding that's the sound of a crazy bitch who wants to call the shots. run.So she said that she needs a break and that she needs to find out stuff for herself right now and it's easier to not be in a relationship. She said that there's a chance down the road to maybe get back together but she doesn't know right nowshe wants to keep you on the back-burner to keep you single until she is good and ready. again, that means the woman is a control freakWell she said if I truly loved her I'd give her the spaceand if she truely loved you, she wouldn't be so damned selfish
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