A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I used to set up social events for our large group of friends as a pastime. However we became busy and stopped, and finally set one up for this weekend which we had been planning to for awhile. 10 said yes and 10 more said maybe attending. However, four days before the event he said our friends, another couple, "Ann and Dave" texted him reminding him that we have dinner reservations with them and a few others that same time. They reminded him because they saw we invited them to my event. I didn't even know I was invited to those reservations. Anyway after discussing he said he'll talk to them, however he didn't. Two days later, he said he really doesn't want to ruin his relationship with Ann and Dave and miss the reservation. I understood but was quite upset because he promised to host our event together, and he said he'll talk to them. I was also annoyed because he didn't handle the situation right away and left just two days to cancel with them. He then suggested we split up that day and he'll meet me after dinner. However this would mean missing my event. Then he revealed that Ann said people declined their invitation but later said yes to my invitation. I told him that Ann and Dave would understand if you tell her the truth that he genuinely forgot and promised to host the event with me. But he became upset and refused to miss her event. I felt like I was becoming selfish and childish over the situation, but I ended up crying because I was hurt that he was so adamant in choosing their event over mine. I ended up cancelling my event and dealing with all the "what happened?" texts. After I cancelled, I found out Ann had another table for 6 people and started texting everyone to fill the reservations. So it made it appear as if the reservations were new and I cancelled my original plans because I found something better. This upset me more. I felt it would have been better to cancel with Ann but my boyfriend completely disagrees. Does anyone have thoughts on how they would have handled the situation? Any advice? I did tell my friends we genuinely forgot about prior plans with Ann but I can't help but feel upset at my boyfriend. I suppose we could have attended events separately but it's not the same.
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (20 January 2017):
 Sorry but I think your bf did what was right. That was keeping dinner date with Anne and Dave. Thats why its called a reservation. Time made and set aside. People forget, things happen..but to cancel on plans already made in lieu of new ones is just rude. Personally, I think it best to just accept that shit happens and next time double check both your diaries.
A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (20 January 2017):
Is Anne your bf friend more than Dave . As normal the guys name would go first not other way around .. maybe it's me but I tend to pick up on lil silly things .
There is certain loyalty to a friend and then there loyalty to your significant other .. since Anne and Dave had been preagreed in going I can see your bf point of finding it difficult to say " you know what we forgot " however since it was a genuine mistake I think he should have said .. look we can't make as we forgot don't hate us ans have arranged this hence you getting the invite . What If we combine them or something or we call round after it or take you two out to dinner to make up . Or pop by took them some wine and apology flowers and came back to yours
I think his loyalty should be with you and I think this is where your feeling hurt comes .. hence I wonder if your thinking that your bf has maybe more than affection for his friend Anne ?? If I'm way of base let me know ..
I think you need to sit down and chat with him if I am right and ask him how would he feel if he was left and you chose another male over him . If I'm wrong then I'd still have the talk and just say that being together mean a being together .. hosting a party while your other half attends another .. eh sorry nope that's just way off beam .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2017): OP here. I talked to my boyfriend and apparently he and Ann discussed this dinner three months ago. She proposed this date to which he agreed to revisit later but did not confirm. However, he cannot remember whether or not he confirmed to her in person more recently, and forgot altogether. He tends to forget things and apologized... just thought I would share those additional details.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 January 2017):
 Honestly? I think it is a petty thing to be falling out over. You should have kept your plans and let him go with his friends for dinner and meet up afterwards, you both don't need to do everything together.
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