A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have posted twice before over the last two days about how I have fallen out with one of my best friends who is a girl (neither one of us wants anything more than friend ship and she has a boyfriend)we have known each other for eight months but feels like longer. I have been advised by people on here and other friends to leave her for a while then try and get in touch I said in a text message I would try and catch her before She went into work. I am worried how long I should leave it before I try and get in touch and by saying things like I will try and catch you before you go into work and if I keep trying to hard she will feel uncomfortable if she does not already and if I leave it too long she will think I do not care. My Mum thinks I am being stupid and should not bother. Am I being stupid and should I not bother trying to fix things? I was thinking of either trying to call her tommorow night or leave it to Monday and go and see her with her favourite chocolate and a card to say sorry. I am so upset at the moment I really miss my friend and would give anything to sort things out with her. Please can anyone help me
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male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 If you start showing up with chocolate and cards, her boyfriend is going to start thinking you are trying to crowd him out. Because it will certainly look like it to anybody else ... and probably to her, too.
Let things be for a while. "While" is measured in days, not microseconds. You're not trying to turn on the romance with this girl, so stop acting like it. Real friends can go for a whole week without talking to one another and not have their friendship suffer.
You've said you are sorry for whatever you did to cause the falling out, haven't you? Make sure she knows that, and then really LET IT BE. Talk to her the next time you run across her or something special comes up that you would have a REAL (not made-up) reason to call her about.
A
female
reader, JazziBadAzz +, writes (11 April 2007):
maybe we can help each other because ia m in simular situation.first of do you know how to distinguish your tru feelings for her? where do you want to stand with her? Maybe you should talk to her her and tell how you really feel and let it go from there when you avoid things you sometimes have miscommunication. You you two are close you can patch things up but if theres dtill resentment or agrude held from this falling out then maybe space is needed
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (11 April 2007):
 I have'nt read your intial posting, so I will take what I can from this one.
If you value your friendship then you will do what you can to patch things up. I dont know how long you have left it, but be careful you dont leave it too long.
Good friends are hard to come by, friends you can count through thick and thin so if you have this kind of relationship then i'm sure you two will find a way to sort things out eventually.
Goodluck..
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