A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with a man for 6 years. We were engaged a year and a half ago after he told me about an affair he had with another woman. He knew my past history of being cheated on by my ex husband and promised he would never hurt me like that but did anyway. We have talked about spending our lives together but there are triggers that cause me to doubt and make me feel like I will never be enough. I'm scared. We met a woman today who he is obviously attracted too and it triggered all those emotions that I thought were past and I'm scared. I let him know I was feeling like I would never be enough, like I had to compete and did not want to have to do that, like my heart was heavy. I told him I did not want to feel this way and was just letting him know that I was a bit emotional. I just spoke to him on the phone and although he did not ask anything about I could sense in his voice that he was upset about me feeling that way. That concerns me. He has a past history of cheating on his ex wife and that concerns me. It hurt me so much it was catastrophic to me. I don't want to be hurt like that again and I am scared. I hate what he did. I have forgiven the act but I am having a hard time with the fact that he knew it would hurt me, promised he never would, and did it anyway. How do I get past that and how do I deal with my emotions. How do I stop people from walking all over my heart?
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female
reader, miss fit  +, writes (4 May 2007):
stay in this relationship because decent guys are so hard to find, but the moment he starts giving another woman the eye get out of there like there a shoe sale at the exact place hes not at. and don't look back
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): I really feel for you. BUT, i have to ask this question - WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM? There are plenty of lovely guys out there. You will never be happy with this guy and i think deep down you know it. You have been cheated on before in the past and he knew and he has cheated on you, so what are you waiting for. Run like hell. It isn't hard or difficult being on your own and without a bloke, actually it is very fulfilling and rewarding. It is a time to build up your own confidence and self esteem. I have been through similar to you but 100 times worse, believe me. I spent five years on my own bring up my son and it was a fantastic time. I met a bloke 2 years ago and we are now married. He is wonderful and there will be a wonderful bloke out there for you too. Be strong and let him know that you are not happy and NOT prepared to put up with feeling like this any longer. Get out now, while you still have some sanity left.
Take care and keep in touch if you want.
xx
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