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female
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anonymous
writes: I split up with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years back in August. We split b4, last October 2005, as he wanted a break and liked someone else. I found someone else he came running back, I then didn't want him! 3 mths later and I started thinking about him all the time so decided to give it another go. I am 25 he is 27. We didn't ever live together but practically were always round one another's most of the time. When I got back with him this changed as I didn't put as much effort into the relationship. He wanted us to move in together and was even going to propose to me in Paris on Valentines, but I told him I wasn;'t ready for that.He kissed another girl while on a stag do then thought he liked this girl and wanted to see her again which is the reason for our split the first time. I found this very hard to deal with. I cheated on him twice when we got back together and slept with 2 people behind his back. I also booked a holiday without telling him and went for two weeks in July saying I booked it when we split up and forgot to tell him. He was so upset about this. I acted so badly and he doesn't know most of this. It was all in retaliation to what he did when he broke up with me even though my actions were so much worse. When I returned from my holiday in July I saw him a few times then broke it off for good. We are good friends and he has told me he still loves me and that I am the only one for him. When I think about our relationship I get really emotional and I find it very hard to talk about. I once loved him so much and we had such a spark even when he broke up with me the first time around, then we got back it had gone and I can';t understand why. Even though I have been quite awful to him he would do anything for me and I have mixed feelings whether perhaps it's worth another chance. Opinions please. Thank u.xx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2007): Sounds to me like you still love him. You say you are good friends and it would appear that you are keeping him close because you still have strong feelings for him and are perhaps scared to admit them and give it another go.
From what you say it seems that you both had that moment where you are about to make the ultimate commitment, but get scared off. This happens and would explain both your actions. Perhaps your retaliation was a little under hand, but he doesn't know so he can be hurt by that. You need to decide whether you should tell him about it. But if you do want to give it a try again talking about your relationship before is essential.
The pain you feel when you think about it is your guilt. But don't let that get in the way of your happiness. Stuff happens, forget it and move forwards. If you can see yourself with your ex again then go for it.
Somewhere deep inside that spark still exists or otherwise you would not say about giving it another go. He obviously loves and cares for you greatly. I suggest you at least talk to him. If you get on so well as friends and still fancy him why not see what happens. Sometimes we find the person of our dreams and throw it away all too easily.
Go for it. Talk to him, see if you both feel the same. You have nothing to lose anymore but everything to gain. I wish you luck. x
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 to me it seems that the two of you have been trying to score points on one and another for the cheating = which is never a good thing. i think the reason why the spark has gone is because their may still be love but their isnt trust no more you both have been unfaithful and to me thats a bad start to a relationship...if he says he loves you then their is no need for cheating..thats my opinion may not be right but thats how i feel. you should follow youre heart and listen to youre mind xxx
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