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male
,
anonymous
writes: i've known this girl for nearly 3 years now. there's always this particular chemistry whenever we're together. we share the same passion for music, pondered about the same things, and even share the same belief. we confide a lot in each other, mostly feelings about people and situations, and we can emphathise deeply with each other. i love to tease her and she also teases me back. we kept meeting each other for a while. at that time though we both liked someone else so didn't want any further complications to arise, so i told her i liked another, i treat her as a sister and she should treat me as a brother, and she readily agreed. then we were busy and then drifted apart. in that time we'd lost our deep connectivity already, so we lost contact for nearly a year. in that time she'd gotten a boyfriend, broke up with him and found another whom she said is "the one" for her. because he stood by her during her breakup while i wasn't there. but recently i contacted her and she told me that her current boyfriend ("the one") doesn't connect as deeply with her as i do, that when with me she hadn't felt so happy for so long already, and that she hadn't found anyone like me before. i also found that i've developed feelings for her. however she still uses the term "brother" in our communication. i've hinted time and again i treat her more than a sister but she doesn't seem to get it. should i confess my feelings? i really love her now but im scared confessing them would ruin our relationship..
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 October 2006):
 Tell her what your thinking and feeling, you've got nothing to lose and it's better to take the chance and possibly get something you want than to sit back and always wonder what might come of it, if she doesn't feel the same and nothing can come of your friendship at least you know and can try and move on from her.
Good luck :o)
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (22 October 2006):
 "... in that time we'd lost our deep connectivity already ..."
Then tread carefully. It is possible she may not return these feelings and is just musing about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. It is quite likely that she has sustained some emotional damage and would be better off being on her own until she heals.
Ask her why she does not break up with her boyfriend. I would think that if she were really that unhappy she would have done it by now. Something holds her back, and you are taking a huge risk by confessing.
If you do not get a satisfactory answer from your friend as to why she stays then you cannot hope to succeed with her. Good luck and take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2006): Tell her how you feel! You have everything to gain and nothing to lose! You only live once, and what if you keep putting it off and she really does find someone else. You'll be kicking yourself forever!
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