A
female
age
51-59,
*asterner
writes:How do I Move on with my Life After an Intense Relationship?I met this man last August and we soon became capitivated with each other. By September he had moved into my apartment. He is 9 years younger than myself. We are both going to the same school and are in the same program of 25 students. The relationship became intense since not only did I see him at school, but also at home afterwards. I lost most of my friends, but was happy with him. There were a considerable amount of fights that we had up until December. I realized that this relationship was important to me and after Christmas, I moved in with a friend, to work on school and improve the relationship. Things were going ok. I told him that I loved him. By this time, he was hurt from the fighting and I was hurt as well. But we started working on things more and there was some improvement. We called each other regularly and spent quality time together. Within six weeks, I have moved back into the apartment. Unfortunately, at the end of February, we had one fight which was large. We didn't talk for three weeks. I needed to recover from this one. Last week we started talking again, but he isn't interested in dating. I love him a lot and I have tried to explain to him that this was a bad year for me in school, family and finances, but to no avail. I explained to him how things were better when we were not living with each other, but he doesn't seem to want to get back together. How does one move forward with this? I see him everyday and think about him all the time as well.
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female
reader, elsie  +, writes (30 March 2007):
 there was alot of up and downs in this relationship and you dont explain what you were fighting about?you mentioned you had a bad year perhaps you were taking out your problems on him and whilst youve been apart he had time to realise this.i know from my own experience that if someone leaves and hurts you that you can become stronger atfer all the pain.you have said about not talking for 3weeks and needing to recover.maybe im wrong but it sounds like you needed space from the intensity.maybe he needed to sort through the problems and wound up thinking you didnt want to know?im in a relationship which is off and on and in the end it weakens the whole structure until maybe you feel numb and can move on.its very unfortunate that you see each other every day.is there anyway you can be posted temporarily somewhere else?another idea is to take time off to recover.anyways wish you well.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (30 March 2007):
 It's the hardest thing in the world to have to get over the end of a relationship that you didn't want to happen but the sad truth of it is that the person who wants out of the relationship always gets their own way. Don't rush moving forward. After a break up it's important to take some time where you feel sad and angry at the other person so that you're properly ready to move on when the time comes. I suggest that you give yourself this time but choose a date in the future when you won't let yourself feel sad about him anymore and then stick to it. Be as miserable as you want until that date but after then no more. It sounds stupid but it honestly works.
CD
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