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female
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*mandajoallen
writes: My boyfriend of 4 years and I fight sometimes, but when we do it is really bad, screaming , cussing , pushing, He is kinda abusive, but it has got so bad that we do it around our kids. It is driving me up the wall. About a year ago he cheated on me with his 4 year old sons mother. At first he lied to me and it took him 6 months maybe more to tell me. I hate her now and sometimes when we have his son i think about his mom and jeremiah and it makes me not even want to be around his son. That is really mean. I have a problem with jeremiah not spending time with me. and all i do is ask him to but he says he is not that type of person. when his son is here he spends every second with him it makes me kinda jealous. I dont know how to quit thinking about him cheating on me. when i do it makes me hate him. I dont think i am ever going to feel the way i did before all this shit happened. I chose to live with it but i cant forget about it. we have a daughter together and i treat her different but i cant help it plus she is only 6 months. help me.
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female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (15 January 2006):
Open your eyes to your relationship and look at the bad effect its having on those around you. Is that what you really want? Hating someone is merely a way of putting all your anger onto someone who didnt actively pursue him. he cheated on her because he wants happy in yr relationship.
She didnt cause the initial problem, you did by your attitude/jealousy/constant confrontation about small issues and your unhappiness about something between you.
Get your Mom to babysit and go off together for a night --- TALK -- because there are so many unspoken problems between you that need attention. Take it from there.
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