A
male
age
36-40,
*owerfulhope
writes:I've been in a relationship with a woman I'm madly in love with for 1 year and two months now. Throughout the relationship, we've had some ups and some downs, and a lot of those downs have led to breakups and makeups. the truth is I had a real big problem with jealousy, something I was not afraid to admit and not afraid to work on either, but it wasn't easy and this led me to doing really stupid things to hurt her because I would get overhyped over nothing and it didn't help that I had a bad temper. In the past summer, she had enough and broke up with me for good, and we didn't talk for a while. I took this time to work on my jealousy and anger and am proud to say I made great strides, enough for her to see the change in me and ask me to get back together. The problem is that since then, there has been a lot of fighting, and sometimes I let the jealous and angry part of me come out again. A lot of our big fights come because of a miscommunication. I've done some stupid meatheaded things, and she broke up with me 2 weeks ago because at a party I called her out and started a big fight over it. She was afraid I'm never going to change. I went to her house the next day and she told me she'd give me this last chance to change. Low and behold we're still fighting, and for stupid reasons. Last night she broke it off again and I see that no matter what, we still fight, but I am madly in love with this woman. I believe she is the love of my life. She's been there for me through so many personal tough times, and has given me chance after chance to change but the truth is I messed up, again... and again and again. What can I do to fix things? Even when we break up she tells me she's in love and so heartbroken because she is just as in love with me but can't stand all the fighting that's plagued us. I'm willing to change for her. I have in the past, but it seems to find a way of still haunting me. What can I do? What should I do? This time was so different, and I'm afraid I could lose her for the rest of my life and this would be the saddest point for me ever. How can a cat ask for his 10th life, if not his 13th or 14th? I'm so lost, and so pained. Please help me. Thank you so much.
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male
reader, powerfulhope +, writes (20 November 2008):
powerfulhope is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthats true, that its hard to be in a relationship were the fighting is nonstop. but i feel like i can change. I did change a lot during the summer we spent apart. yes, at times it did come up, but not nearly as much as it used to. i dont know why in the past month i've let go of myself instead of staying cool headed. And as far as the temper goes, It rarely gets as bad as it used to. I really love this woman. I am willing to change those bad aspects and continue working on them so the change isnt temporary. I dont want to continue the chain of anger and jealousy, i dont want my future kids to be like that, and i dont want to be that kind of person in general. and i know i'm capable, but it seems impossible to show her that after so many times we fight and fight and break up. I just dont know what to do.
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