A
female
age
41-50,
*otebook123
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months. Our problem is that we fight a lot. Usually it is petty fighting about stupid things. His main complaint with me is that I am too quick to attack. For example, if he says something I don't like or am frustrated I tend to make a sarcastic comment or make a sarcastic sigh. My main complaint with him is that, while I may not be reacting in the correct way, he does not realize that sometimes he is at fault. We have been planning on moving in together and were supposed to sign the lease tonight. We're both hesitant because neither of us wants the fighting to continue.We do love each other and when things are good, they are really good. We don't know what to do. Any insight would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): I would still date him, but hold off on moving in together. After my boyfriend moved in with me, we fought constantly for the first month. I think it takes a lot of work just getting used to each other's habits when you first move in and that if the two of you are already fighting, you should wait. Sounds like your fights are just miscommunications, so maybe you should get to know each other a little better before you move in. Save moving in as a celebration for getting past all the hurdles in your relationship now.
(I know you don't want to think about it, but it's also a million times harder to break up with someone once you move in together).
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 October 2008):
 I dated a couple of guys that were really close to my ideal man but just missed the mark so to speak. I think that's what dating is all about, finding the exact right guy/girl for a person. Those relationships were fun most the time and I really thought I loved them but there was just something a little off. In your case it's the bickering that indicates to me that it might be just a little off. I don't think you should move in together and certainly shouldn't sigh a lease together...at least not until you and your boyfriend can figure out what is causing these wrinkles and iron them out. And just maybe you guys aren't really meant to be. Just my input.
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