A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello again,My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and 2 months we usually fight over really insignificant things but this time we had an arguments and he broke up with me saying that we fight alot and that thats not how a relationship should be. this was before we were sure if we were having a baby and im extremely mad because he did not even wait to see if we were expecting. I do love him and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him but im not sure if i can trust him again. he wants to get back but when i tell him to figure things out and make sure that its what he wants he tells me ok then gets mad and says that its over and then he calls crying that he cant be without me i seriously do not understand him please help me!
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (24 February 2009):
So you want him for the rest of your life, but you don't know if you can trust him. If I was in a relationship where anger was present often, I'd bail too.
It sounds like you're pushing him away. Make him wait too long, you will loose him for good, then you'll have to want to spend your life with someone else. Remember the more you say "figure out what he wants", the more he'll hear he's not the one you want.
He is right, fighting is not how a relationship is suppose to be. Okay maybe one that's dysfunctional, but not one that's considered to be acceptable.
Are you the one who starts the fights or just has to have things go your way? You said the two of you argue, but you're the only one you directly stated as being "extremely mad." I believe you need to decide what you want, and stick with that decision. If you want him, stop dangling the carrot in front of him. If it's not this that you want, tell him and let him go.
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