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*s.syk0
writes: Me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years now and been living together for 1 year and a half. We were friends for about 2 years in other relationships prior to getting together. Now, we own a house, car, dog, cat.... and I lost my job in june. Financially I'm ok until march-april so that's not what has been bothering me much, though it has been on my mind of course. I am at a stage in my life where I don't know what I am doing with my life and I am trying to go back to school. I took orientation classes and have found out more about myself and my career personality.My problem is; our love life is dying.We hardly talk anymore, sex is getting rare... it used to be Weekly, now I'm affraid it's more spaced out to monthly or a couple times a month. I know this is very bad for a young couple... I need all the help I can get. We never seem to be on the same wave length... I cant pinpoint where it started going wrong. We never fight so that's good, but we don't talk. Each time I bring up something serious it comes out weird and he doesnt give me the light of day. I need this to work... I love him so much and I know he loves me too. We have been 100% loyal to each other that I know.The only activities we do together is watch an enormous amount of TV and we have a poker night at a friends house on thursdays. Other than that we don't have any budget for outings. Any suggestions PLEASE!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): Doesn't take any money to take your dinner to a park and eat it there. Or to throw a football around together. Or to leave all your credit cards at home and go window shopping together in some really expensive store, imagining what you'd buy if you won the lottery.
You can buy a board game at Target for about $10.
My sense is that your relationship has lost its FUN. The wonderful thing is that fun doesn't have to cost any money, and it doesn't even have to take a bunch of time. All it needs is for you to be dedicated to being creative, putting something together, and getting your fiance to come along for the ride.
Relationships all go through phases, and sometimes the spark is stronger than at others. But the nice thing about a relationship that's built on friendship, like yours, is that it's deeper than a spark. And at the times when your schedules are off or your bodies are out of sync or the babies never stop crying or whatever ... you can find ways to connect other than sexually ... and then that brings the spark right back, just when you weren't expecting it.
It sounds to me like you guys are bored, only watching tv and not communicating much. Remember that communicating doesn't have to be all serious "state of our relationship" talks -- sometimes it's just about having fun together. Go for that and see where it takes you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): first of all, you need to tell him EVERYTHING u wrote here. i can see that the major problem is communication. its really key to a relationship, and u need to work it out.
tell him everything. ur fears. ur plans. ur dreams. be his bestfriend, get him to open up to you. in a relationship, its really important that u set aside quality time for each other. maybe ur relationship is getting too complacent, spice things up a bit! fix the communication issue first, the sex life will follow.
hope it works out. love is hard to find, so dont throw it away. just fix it.
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