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age
30-35,
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writes: I have been with my boyfriend for around five months, we began to have sex after dating for around 3 months, we were both virgins. At the beginning, we both seemed to really enjoy sex, and I felt very satisfied and happy and he seemed to as well.One day, he suggested we try anal, and I agreed, so we did, and it was fine. It didn't really do anything for me, but he seemed to love it so I was more than willing to do it occasionally. But as time went on, he suggested it more and more frequently, and I told him that I didn't want to do it so often, that I would like to have more normal sex as I felt we could both benefit from it. However, he didn't really listen, and we dont have normal sex anymore, just anal occasionally. It really hurts me because he isn't taking my feelings into account and I feel as though I am not good enough at regular sex to make him want it. I've recently told him how I am feeling, and he doesn't seem to understand. He told me that he doesn't think our normal sex is that great. I feel heartbroken. I thought he was enjoying it all this time, but apparently not. I don't know what to do, I want to keep him satisfied but I dont know how long I can go on. My self esteem is shattered and I am becoming more critical of myself every day. I feel trapped because I love him.
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both virgins, heartbroken, self esteem, trapped Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): ... that lad is a **** seriously that is terrible! you seem to have your head screwed on and you've done everything right but hes the one not listening to u or even thinking about how u feel!
anyone that properly loves you would care how u feel and even if you hadnt talked to him he'd have to have an idea that you're not enjoying yourself! u can clearly see hes destroying your self esteem... get rid of him he seriously doesnt deserve you as a girlfriend!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): Oh you poor thing. You have tried to talk to him about this but he has totally ignored your feelings and I really feel you should let him go and just move on.
I think because sex was so new to both of you when you tried anal he has focused only on the sensation that anal provides rather than the emotional connection that you get from loving 'normal' sex.
He has been unwilling to even compramise and he knows that anal is not that enjoyable for you but still insists on it ALL the time.
He doesn't sound like a very nice person. Dont be hard on yourself. This isn't your fault at all. Use this experiance as a learning tool for what you will and wont tolerate in a relationship.
You dont deserve to be treated like this. From your post it seems like you are a sweet person who just gave her heart to the wrong guy.
Good luck hun, please post again and tell us how your going :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): HiHe is a selfish moron and you deserve better, find someone that wants to treat you as a woman. He is very wrong.
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