A
female
age
36-40,
*penheart
writes:I have been with my boyfriend now for 5 years and recently got engaged! the problem is that we dont have a great sex life! I had a bad experience with an ex boyfriend (which i dont relly want to go into). I dont really think about it any more but i think its still in the back of my head! once i am actually having sex i really enjoy it but its just getting round to it! I dont really know what it is, but its just the thought of it! my boyfriend has been great, he never forces me into doing anything i dont want to and he never says anything but i know he is getting frustrated! the last time we had sex was about a year ago. we have oral sex its just sex that scares me for some reason. I dont want this to take over my life! I have seen a consellor and been on anti depressants, i just dont know what to do!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): okay, few mintues ago i just posted my question...and already im giving my 2c's.
first off, you are 21, unless in serious distress, you dont need antidepressants, but more like some dynamic/cognitive therapy. regardless of the outcome, a year is extremely long, you arent 76 afterall, and need to grow up some, face up to bad experiences in the past and find strenght to move on. try cuddling, sweet talk, getting comftable just laying naked together...save up some money and go somewhere with him for a day or two.
let your motivation be this, sexual desire needs to externalized and sex consumated, otherwise sooner or later, he is going to leave. take a rational stance and maybe you'll see that an ex bf, was just that a shitty ex, and there you learned something there, and there was tuition to pay, but now you need to move on and enjoy good things in life.
A
female
reader, speedcat  +, writes (31 January 2008):
watch out antidepressants can afffect your sex life!!!!watch for side effects!!
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