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We didn't break up on bad terms, so why won't he talk to me?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 November 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 November 2008)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone. I've had something on my mind now for a little while now and thought I'd get some insight into what other people may think about it!

Well, basically the back story is that I recently broke up with a long-term bf (2.5years). For a while the relationship was heading south and we were both unhappy. I initiated the break up and it was hard, but it was what we both wanted. We did not speak and have not spoken since. This was 6 months ago. We agreed we would meet up about 2 months into the break up just to maintain a friendship, but this did not go through because of a fall out on his behalf.

After another 2 months, I contacted him and told him I wanted to be friends with him and I didn't want to waste our friendship after spending so much of our time together.

To make the story short, he ignored my contact and has not contacted me since. So I basically have not spoken to him since May, even though he told me at the time that we would see each other and remain friends.

Basically, my question is why has he treated me like absolute sh*t by not contacting me and ignoring me after we did NOT break up on bad terms? Why doesn't he want to maintain a friendship after everything we shared together? What the hell is wrong with him?

This boogles my mind. I am not asking for a close friendship or anything like that, but I don't understand why he would treat me like this after I thought I knew him? Why would he just cut contact and in such a callous way especially since our break up was mutual.

Just trying to get some insight into this.. It's sad that I spend almost 3 years with someone who hasn't shown me any respect after all of this. I feel like our relationship was a waste now and that it meant nothing to him.

That's all! This isn't a big issue to me, just something I cannot get my head around no matter how hard I try!!

Thank you everyone :)

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A male reader, Andy_2008 United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2008):

Im in a similar situation. My girlfriend of 7 months has made absolutely NO contact in 5 weeks now. We fell out about her 70 hour a week job and that i therefore could hardly see her and speak to her, so she got 2 guys to throw me out, sleep with 1 of them, then has said nothing. I was apparently her first so she said it was important to her, so im totally confused and bewildered as to why shes done this and ignored me

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A female reader, hannah76 United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2008):

hannah76 agony auntHello,

Although I can't offer any real answers a similar thing happened to me. I was with a guy for around 6 months, very close, friendly. I had so much respect and days out and evenings out, dinners, gifts. You name it!

I decided to cool things down a little due to pressure at work and home, he was caring and was really helpful with my suggestion.

Around four weeks of friends then started and then he went AWOL. No emails, calls, texts etc. He vanished.

I am with you in your sadness and hurt. I feel disrespected and can't understand how someone can share a bed and be so lovely and 4 weeks later disappear. Shame on him. xxx

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A female reader, Reebe United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2008):

Reebe agony auntI know exaclty where he's coming from. When me and my boyfriend (6 years) broke up in January he said he wanted to be friends and I said no. I just couldn't do it, it doesn't mean I hated him, far from it, we also never split up on bad terms, it's just that sometimes you have to draw a line on something to be able to move on with your life. When we first broke up we spoke a few times, but now not for several months,even now if he asked to be friends now i couldn't do it, because i know that any contact with him makes me start to think we could be together again, and I'd be back to where i started from.

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