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female
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anonymous
writes: I met this guy 6 months ago through some mutual friends at a party, I am 22 he is 24 we both spent the night there as we couldnt drive home because we had to much to drink. We ended up sharing a bed and fooled around a bit but nothing else he ended up holding me the whole night. few days later we started talking by phone and online and he asked me to come out for coffee with him, so we went out and he made it clear that he did not want a relationship and I was absolutely fine with that because I wasnt ready for anything serious, and we agree'd to be friends with benefits....we were seeing eachother every second day and we took daytrips out of the city together, he would take me out places, and he would always be holding me when he went out..and i was starting to get the wrong impression, so I went to him and asked what is happening with this and where exactly are you going with this, are you wanting more or what is it, and all he said was at this point I cant be the guy to give you more....I wasnt asking for more but just wondering what was going on (even though i had started to develope feelings for him) so we kept doing what we were doing and then a few months later I started seeing him less he started to have excuses for not being able to see me and it would only be when he had nothing better to do, I rarely see him now at all, and i asked him if it was coming to an end or what and he said if anything changed I would tell you, I eventually found out that theres another girl who he was interested in, and he had been out with her when he was "sleeping". What I want to know is where do I go from here...im head over heals for this guy now, and I feel kinda lied to and I dont know if i have that right to feel that way. I told him so much for beig striaght up with me and he said I am straight up and I ignored him for a while and then he said fine if you want me to be straight up then give me a call when you get off work, and now im nervous of what hes going to say...I want to know, and i want to be able to tell him how i feel and why i feel the way i do but im just a really shy when it comes to sharing my feelings with someone I really do like. I need some advice as to what to do next...cause i dont know what to do now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I talked to him about a week ago, and he told me that he is now dating this other girl and they have been dating for a week now and i said ok thats fine see ya around. Im really good friends with his sister and was over there a couple days later and he stayed up where we were he whole time and he just kept looking at me, he tried talking to me but I was in no mood to talk to HIM at that point. then a yesturday he messages me on msn, and it was just a normal hey hows it goin conversation and then out of no where hes all asking for sexual favors....and im like and what is wrong with your girlfriend? ask her! and he was like but your amazing and I miss it, and to be honest I would have went but i was going out and my ride was already here so i couldnt....which i know is a good thing, otherwise i would probably have gone for sure. really urks me that apparently im only good for one thing in his eyes....hes been dating this girl for a week and already wanting to cheat on her....i know now that he is a player and a cheater but why is it im still wanting to be with him? I hate what hes doing and it disgusts me but....ahhh
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (7 December 2006):
 Staying in the same situation will lower your self esteem.
He fancies you but he not serious. If you are still wondering where it leads. Nowhere is the answer.
He is playing, and has a another girl. Please do not hurt yourself anymore, find someone else to be with.
Do you really want to be friends with benefits. You are hoping that it will develop into something more. If this guy cheats on the other girl, he would cheat on you too.
xxx
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