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age
36-40,
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writes: Right here's the deal. My ex and i haven't been speaking in months, we've made up many times but we keep fighting, and now it's messed.I dont know what to do, we despise of eachother, but i still have love for her. It all sounds confusing but i need help. :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): I have to say, it could be that you and your ex are in the midst of a toxic, unhealthy love. Love is not supposed to be hateful and painful. Something is not working. It sounds almost obsessive and you both love the battles, the war, the hurt... whereas it shouldn't be. I think if the both of you make a decision to understand what a healthy love is, and both of you are able to develop and heighten your self-esteem as well as practising self love, this will be the beginning to ending this sad, codependent cycle you are both in. Even if just one of you can learn to believe in what a healthy good love is...then this cycle will end. And so will the dysfunctional relationship you are caught up in. But as long as you both believe that the other one has all this power to make the other falsely happy, then you are both victims in this horrid situation. I think you need to research and learn about toxic relationships and learn how to break free of it. Good luck hun and take care of YOU.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): Mr and Mrs Smith spring to mind?!
Just me then...
If you loved her than you wouldn't be yelling at her. You wouldn't despise her. I know the stereotypical image of someone in love means that they absoutley have to be perfect!!- but I mean c'mon man!!
Since I don't know anymore...you need to question to yourself why you fight, and talk to her about how you feel.
If it gets worse, suggest relationship consuelling for both of you or just for you for further advice.
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