A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Thanks to all who take the time to respond to this. My ex and I agreed that we would try to meet for a friendly drink and be friends. I met with him and it did not go well. We made some small talk...he brought up things that I had said in the past that had upset him and there were a lot of long silences where neither of us said anything...there was a lot of communication and sadness in that silence. He reminded me again of all the reasons why he could not commit( why we broke up) and then asked me if I was really thinking of moving...I am...but he said he did not want to lose me. I will admit that a) I have no idea how some exes can be friends...perhaps some of you have stories to tell which will restore my faith and B..any thoughts why it is not working as friends with him and I. It is not even that either of us are hurt or angry...it just seems numb somehow.
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female
reader, sally17  +, writes (19 April 2007):
Me and my ex were best friends after we split up and the more friendly you get with them the more tempting it is to go back to your old ways. Its not a good thing to do if you want to get over someone as well. If you want to be friends and talk then mauybe consider going out with a group of people then there will be a lot more conversation, then maybe as time goes on you and your ex find that you are able to be friends without hesitation.
Hope it helpss xxx
A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (19 April 2007):
 the fact that you are going numb probably means that you have gone through enough upset already.id say you are still going through your emotional journey after the relationship ended.i dont think its a good idea to remain friends afterwards.fine to say hello how are you getting on then leave it at that.i think the choice to meet as friends was really a cover for him wanting to still moan and air his grievances.you know get it all off his chest and you can counsel him.think about it 'friends' meet up for a drink they dont start criticizing each other.i dont think this is going anywhere.hes still hurting and you need to move on.dont let him use you as a counsellor.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): Well me nd my ex r now the best mates n e 1 would of eva known!
I went out wiv him nd then we split up 4 the first couple of weeks after I went out wiv him we couldn't stand each other nd didn't talk 2 each other but then we became friends again!
I think ur problem is that u keep thinking about like all the kisses u have had nd everything nd u want 2 b able 2 talk about them but ur embarrassed about talking about the good times of the relationship so u just cum out wiv the bad!
Believe me this is ur problem cus this is wat happened wiv my bf,but we over came that fear nd u need 2 do the same!
Hope this helps!x
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A
male
reader, Slimsam  +, writes (19 April 2007):
Siz, i do not know what to tell since.Open up ex files is always a tricky affairs from my experience.
First,id saay your ex is wasting your time,he doesnt want you to go,neither does he want to commit himself.
About being friends,it only works if he is your friend,so long as you dont get into another relationship.Reason? Your ex is usually someone you and given your all to.He knows all your strenghts and weaknessess and therefore has the ability to play around with your spychology n EMOTIONS AT WILL.
Getting into a new relationship while still having your ex as a friend will not work,since for one,your ex understands you more than your new boyfriend n therefore has the ability to mess up things for you.
Second,your new man,if he is like 99 per cent of men,will not entertain the idea,he will always feel threatened and jealous so long as your ex is around
Im saying,if possible,stay away from your ex!!!!!!!!!!1
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