A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After it came to light that my boyfriend had cheated a year later we agreed to try sort things out. We had issues and we had been working the whole year to try fix things but I just can't move on. It hurts so much, I've even started having nightmares about him having sex with the women in question. Because she was a friend of mine it cut deep. She always sends me messages saying I'm too good for him and asking why am I with him, she even went as far as saying she wish she had a baby with him and not the guy she. Had a baby with him. We have a son now, we didn't have him to fix things I was under the impression things were ok, and later found out about his cheating.How do I move on? I know I can't forget. He is genuinely sorry I can tell. But it's just a hard position with her stiring and putting fresh information into my head. Also the insecurity that is giving me nightmares isn't helping either, and I keep being horrible to him I feel like I'm just going to push him away again...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2012): Original poster againHe's never made any excuses for what he did he said he did it for his own selfish reasons. And I admit it has done everything for a year to win me back more attentive than before he's never blamed me I just feel like its my fault.And her she left us alone for a year and has recently started contacting me about how she wishes the guy she had a baby would step up. I still have the same number like I said previously I can't block her.We have made a life for ourselves bought a home we were at uni at this point but I can't help but have that lingering fear as she's lurking he's blocked contact with her. And doesn't have any sort of contact.My friends keep telling me to ignore her and she's doing it because she's unhappy with her life and doesn't want us to be happy and using the situation to her advantage to take control.Anyways thanks for your responses
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2012): Firstly tell her to fuck off, she's not a friend she's just a bitch who keeps stirring trouble and a constant reminder of what he did. She goes or you will never be able to move on.
"I'm just going to push him away again"
Hang on just one minute, what do you mean push him away again? Was that his cheating excuse? "You pushed me away so I just had to stick my dick in your friend, you understand baby, right? It's your fault." Because if it was OP he can fuck right off too with that bullshit because how can you move on when apparently it's your fault and he has put responsibility for all this on you?
How can you move on if you constantly have a fear that if you find yourself in another rough patch his solution will be to bone someone else?
OP you're not able to move on because you haven't put a line under the whole affair yet at all. She's still part of your life, the circumstances of him cheating may well happen again because while he's sorry the issue as to why has not been resolved and with both of those factors still present how the hell are you supposed to relax and enjoy being with him? You can't, my god like, you have no security here at all, just two fuckers who did the dirty on you, and somehow it's all down to you to clean this mess up and just "get over it"? Fuck that.
You need to settle and you both need to deal with what happened. Sorry is not going to make things okay, she needs to go and he needs to atone for what happened by taking 100% responsibility for it and only then after a lot of time and a lot of work on his part will it be possible for you to maybe move on from this.
He got away with this far too easily if you ask me and I don't know what the fuck you're doing with her still in your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2012): Im the original poster, I dont talk to her she texts my number and I am unable to stop her from doing it.
I'm not staying him for or son or because he is sorry I'm saying because I love him and I want it to work its been nearly two years now it just keeps cropping up because she won't let it die and I'm unable to move forward.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 September 2012):
 Why on EARTH do you still "talk" to that girl? CUT her out of your life.
As for your BF, are you only staying with him because of the child? Because it doesn't sound like the relationship is making YOU happy at all. Just because he is "sorry" doesn't mean you HAVE to stay with him.
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