A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I was wondering if someone could please help me make some sense of this. I have my best friend who works in a city a few hours from me. I have only recently moved to this country and we met over a year ago when he was travelling. I have always had a bit of a thing for this guy, and told him so about six months ago. He acknowledged that he didn't feel the same way, but we have remained close ever since. Anyway since moving over we still have the same connection that we have always had. Everytime I spend time with him its great and we really enjoy each others company. Here is the part that I cannot figure out. Whenever we are together we fall into the routine of a long term relationship, body language and all. We always call each other pet names and usually on the phone to each other three or four times a day. Yet we are both so happily dating other people (as in first dates, nothing serious as we both came out of long term relationships a while ago and don't want to go down that track again) and usually compare notes at the end of the week. How is it I can feel like I am in a long term relationship and yet do this, its sooooo bizarre. No I have never slept with him!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Just Page  +, writes (29 November 2008):
it's quite likely that he's thinking the same thing! but just doesn't want to go for it in case you don't feel the same way. you're both thinking, 'i want more than friendship but i don't know what they want, and i don't want to make things awkward or ruin our friendship, so i won't say anything until they do'. if you carry on this way, neither of you will ever express your feelings and you will forever go on with this. here's something to consider: when you 'compare notes' about your dates, do you find that when he says something bad about someone, and says what he would want in a girl, does it seem like he is describing you? if he doesn't say anything, ask next time, 'what are you looking for in a girl, and see what he says(see if he ends up describing you). to summarize, one of you is gonna have to make some sort of move or at least start a conversation because at the rate you're going, you'll be sitting in rocking chairs with dentures in, talking about which dates you liked and disliked, in between games of cards and bingo.
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