A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:why would my husband be okay with me sleeping with other men? We have talked about an open marriage, but i can not wrap my head around this one? i am not emotionally stable to say the least. Why would i be okay with him having sex with others too? are we over? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (17 September 2008):
 Some people just get tired of having sex with the same person all the time. It's not that the sex is bad, they just like to try new things.
If this isn't for you though, it's time to find someone else.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): I am not a proponent of open marriage. Playing around with sexual boundaries in a marriage, is very dangerous, I feel.. So I am thinking, your husband is acting out his emptiness, in a desperate way. I am guessing here that the love, the abiding committment and emotional intimacy is probably missing either on his part, or between you both. It sounds like your husband is only trying to 'excuse' his infidelity wants and desires by telling you , that you can have sex with whomever you want, when you want. So now you know, he no longer wants to uphold a strict sexual exclusivity with just you, his wife. In other words, he wants free license to cheat without the hassle of a divorce. And if you have children, he is likely considering the potential loss of daily interactions with them, should you divorce.
Please consider the some form of communicating with a good, highly qualified marriage counselor's help. You could start by telling him calmly, your sense of loneliness and the painful feelings for what he has said to you, about sleeping with other men. Tell you do not want to do that. And set some boundaries here. Insist that he not do this as well. Go ahead, shake the hell out of this marriage and get this man thinking. Because as it sits right now, the alternatives are lousey. Use a sensible, constructive approach and find a way to letting him know you won't agree to this. You have nothing to lose, because his recent behavior indicates to me, that he will otherwise probably be blowing up this marriage and family, through a more painful, destructive means.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the most likely explanation for this attitude is that he wants to legitimise his own behaviour whether he has already or would merely like too. This holds true if this is a sudden change especially. It doesn't if you have talked priorly about swinging or either of you have fantisised about involving more people. It's possible your marriage isnt over but he maybe voyeuristically aroused by the thought of you with other men. Do you think that is possible?
If it isn't then I would have to say things dont look good for your marriage. Maybe you should talk to him about it and ask him why he wants that to be the case and openly ask if it is merely sexual fantasy or something else. Good luck :)
...............................
|
