A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He knew he wanted to break up with me but requested a break. I ended up breaking up with him and he did not put up a fight.This was in may.He keeps coming back and at first I just said I do not want to be friends. I do not want to talk. Leave me alone.I've been strict no contact ever since and ignore him.Every couple weeks he keeps messaging me saying "hey" "hey"Today however, he said hi and of course I ignored him.6 hours later he proceeded to say "Wow you're still ignoring me. I just wanted to see how you were. You don't need to be bitter"I gave this guy everything and he treated me like crap. I promised myself I wouldn't give him anymore of my precious time as soon as we broke up and I've stuck to it.Why is he so keen on me talking to him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2015): You have made quite a mark here and your boyfriend may have too. In his head he thought you would never kick him to the kerb and to some extent i feel you were the underdog. Imagine then his surprise when you broke away from him during your solitary confinement time. He didnt believe you had the strength to do it, he thought you would go crawling back in a short time ,so imagine his surprise when you followed through.In fact its fairly safe to say that he thought he too was taking part in a waiting game..but your life is of substantially greater importance and meaning to you, than his is to him as he has most probably pretty much got what he wanted out of life and quite possibly has few long term objectives other than the immediate and present future. I suspect he experienced a range of emotions that are totally unfamiliar to him, like guilt, remorse, regret, and an undestanding that people cannot be pushed around like little soldiers conveniently waiting their turn.So you sent him into a heady spiral of the great unknown because he thought you would follow a familiar pathway of blaming yourself and exonerating him...hence the need for him to call you bitter in a double negative kind of way. You, yourself have the power to deal with these situations if you keep yourself surrounded by friends.His contacting you with a hey or a hi is the same as making a dropped call..it costs him nothing and you reply on your tab.Plus if you get back in touch begging him to take you back he will feel like the man!!How much longer did you think the relationship would run...is he off to the military or similar where he would need a stay at home wife to keep the coalfires burning? Is he just titillated by what he sees as the new you? Is it just because youre in the same friendship group and he can say "oh yes i spoke to her yesterday!" implying something is ongoing when its over.As you have stuck to your guns and he may be skilfully manipulative, you have probably done the correct thing so far because he deals in double messages.When i first read your message i had the impression of two people who had gone far out to sea and one of you was drowning ..that was you..you needed a bit of help to get your life back under control.Had i been on that beach i would have liked to get you to shore and given you some time to regain his composure, but i might not have bothered to rescue him.How can otherwise compassionate people be so unkind..i can assure you that there is no valid reason, other than that you sounded as if you needed good people to help you to trust yourself..and he seemed a bit clous and cocksure. Of course i may be wrong, but it came across as you being in a relationship where you gave your heart and he wasnt serious enough. So , as i am not part of your friendship group,i am just hoping you will have a good summer with good friends and maybe look at life slightly differently.You are still young enough to have a very good future.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 July 2015):
 I think if you add the fact that YOU didn't want him... made him keep contacting you, sorta to stay in your head "rent free". Even if you don't give a rat's backside about him, HE still makes you think ABOUT him, right?
That is why You need to adapt the "I don't care WHAT he thinks" attitude, because if you look at the bigger picture - it really doesn't matter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi.
I have blocked him off everything but theres an app I use that he uses that he is able to contact me on if he still has my number which is annoying.
I blocked him off everything as soon as we broke up. I DO NOT want to speak with him again. It's worse enough that we go to the same college&will be living on the same road :|.
He actually questioned why I blocked him off everything too lol
Probably why he feels I'm bitter but who cares. I know that I am much MUCH happier without him in my life .
I guess I'm just curious&I'm surprised when thinking about how much he really did not want me, as to why he finds it so hard to understand that I just dont want to talk to him.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (21 July 2015):
 It's all.. yea, we broke up but I want to see if she still misses me, if she still thinks of me, if she will talk to me again. It's all personality and psychology. I doubt he really wants to get back together with you or he will put more action into it. Messaging every few weeks indicates he is trying to satisfy his curiosity. He doesn't want to be with you.As for you, had you really wanted to cut all contact with him, you'd have blocked and deleted him from your phone and all social media. But it does make you tingle just a bit to see his messages, to see that he is still fishing for your attention. Decided you need to cut loose from this relationship. Block and delete him and you will never see his messages or calls. That takes a lot of strength. You can do it if you really want to. Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 July 2015):
 We guys think that - no matter how badly we treat a woman - it is really HER LOSS when that final break is made.....
We think that you are probably pining away for us - 24/7 - and in our fits of compassion, we wish to give you another stab at us.... since we are so delightful....
YOU, apparently, don't understand how magnanimous this guy is, in giving you a second (or, third, or, fourth) chance.... but he is being a WONDERFUL GUY for giving you those chances.... out of the kindness of his heart, incidentally....
Stay silent....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 July 2015):
Block his dumb ass!
He obviously think that you MUST be bitter because you want nothing to do with him *insert eye-roll* (the eye-roll is at him by the by, not you) because he doesn't UNDERSTAND that YOU have no inclination or desire to keep a guy like him around in your life...
I think he wants to see if you are still "mad" at him. Maybe he is fishing for a "fwb" or someone to talk to when he is bored. And if you are not interest in that, FEEL free to block and delete him from everything.
And then STOP wondering why he does what he does, YOU did the right thing in dumping him and cutting him off... DO what's right for you and SCREW what he may want/think/feel - he is yesterdays news.
So in short... don't waste ANY MORE time or effort on him.
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