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We broke up, then I found it was my duty to try again - but the time apart has changed things even more, and there are hardly things in common anymore or inspirational conversations. How do I know when it is time to stop trying?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 28 November 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I'm trying to find out whether I'll regret ending my relationship (again!). My partner and I split up in February - this year after been seeing each other for just over 4 years although we didn't live together or anything. We each have children from previous relationships and he is also 7 years older than me.

It was my decision to split up in February as things just hadn't been right since around September. We had drifted apart somewhat and I think to a degree it was me that changed over a period of time. We got together quite soon after my husband and I separated and I'm not sure if that has anything to with it - in the fact that I am a stronger person etc now.

Anyway, he kept texting me to try and make another go of it - and I suppose I felt a duty to give it another go so we started seeing each other again early September.

Since then though, no matter how I try, things just aren't how they once were. That time apart has changed things even more. There is no chemistry between us at all anymore and we're stuggling for conversation sometimes. I'm also finding it hard to want to spend time with him - we're just going out on a Saturday night - and it's not bothering me.

I think I'm sure the relationship has hit the end of the road but how will I really know? I can't say I'm afraid of being single because that doesn't worry me. I keep thinking he's a good, honest guy and should I keep trying to see if the feelings come back? We just don't seem to have anything in common anymore and the physical attraction for him just isn't there anymore. Has anyone else been in the same situation? Thanks.

View related questions: broke up, period, split up, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007):

I am in the same situation with the sex roles reversed. The person I am with is an ok companion, but nothing is extremely great. It's just 'working'. I am not physically attracted and I usually lean toward porn or alcohol to get into the mood. There are a few key things that are missing, and I know will never be present.

I may start looking elsewhere to prevent unhappiness.

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