A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hope someone can give me some help here. My boyfriend took me out to a nice restaurant a couple of nights ago and broke up with me out of the blue. To cushion the blow, he said he would be there for me thru this hard time and that we would stay friends. Now he has cut me off entirely and I feel humiliated and hurt. If I call him on his cell, if he sees my number, he will not pick up and he has not returned any of my emails. Why is he acting like this when he said we would be friends. We were together for three years. How do I deal with this and keep my pride?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): Well, sorry you feel badly about this, and it evidently came as a shock. Something was not working for him in your relationship, otherwise he would not have ended it. I expect he gave his decision a good deal of thought before announcing it to you. I too wonder whether he was specific about why he wanted to break up with you.
However that may be, you might have to settle for not knowing his reasons (the time to ask was while you were at the restaurant). Now he doesn't phone or answer your calls or emails. That is because he is aware that to remain in contact may well only hurt you all the more, and make it more difficult to move on. In one sense, you could say he's being cruel now to be kind - in the long run.
I hope you will be able now to not contact him again, but be sad over it for a time. Grieve, be angry, certainly, but don't dwell on it, and try to turn your attention to work, friends, family, other activities that make you happy. See what you can learn from this relationship, and think about what you want - and do not want - in another relationship.
All the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): Stop ringing him and leave him alone for a while what he is doing is not right if he said that he wanted to be friends but maybe he was just saying that in so he wont look like the bad one in all of this.
the things is if you have been going out for 3 years he will be hurt and abit lost so give him some time but i wouldnt try to make any more contact let him.
I would just go out and enjoy been single if he wants to act like a dick let him just enjoy your self cause at the end of the day its his loss not yours so enjoy been sinlge but try not to let it get to you know that you will love him but do you want to be with him after all of this and he way he acted think you been lucky to get away when you have .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): sorry to know that he ended it,but he had well planned,you dont take someone whom after 3yrs of being together to a restaurant to dump them and say i`ll be there for you,i know it as when they want to tell you that they love you,did he give you a good reason for dumping you?the reason why he`s avoiding you is either because there is someone else or he knows if he see`s you he`s going to want you back,because if he didnt care for you or feel anything for you he wouldnt be avoiding you,try and brush yourself down and be strong as one day you will wake up and realize he`s out of your system and you was to good for him anyway,take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): I would suggest you move on, forget about him, I've had this happen to me before and it does not end well for you if you keep bugging him. Trust me, you're better off without him, and you most likely won't break him, no matter how hard you try. Move on hun.
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