A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need a guy translation.This may seem long, but please help me out.(I'm 18 if that matter)Me and my ex broke up last sunday(7/6). it was a mutual thing, so we decided to just be friends. We've talked twice since the break up. As a precaution I've been avoiding anything to do with "us," keeping it light. Today was alittle strange.[I told him earlier in our conversation that I read my horoscope for the first time in a while.]The following is our conversation.Guy: But tell me what did your horoscope say?Me: it was kinda longGuy: summary?Me: basically it said I have an admirer who'll boost my ego today.(I didn't want to tell him because I'd been talking to an old friend earlier, and he'd been making some comments heavily suggesting that he liked me. I thought it'd be awkward to tell "Guy")Guy: hmm, well Me: yeh... so like i said, I'm not sure about that one, haGuy: pshh. I said earlier "your pretty cool, i can atest" i boost like no otherMe: you're my admirer? I had no idea.(sarcastic/kidding...because that is how I'd respond to any other guy friend saying these things)Guy: and seeing as how i like you, i admire your looks and the things you doAnd then he completely changed the subject before I could respond (like I'd know what to say). And a minute later we both said our goodbyes. --You can stop here if you want, the rest is just specific questions--We're hanging out with a group of friends this weekend sometime -- Is it the right move to continue to be committed to the "just friend, non-flirtatious" role?It didn't really evoke any kind of emotion in me besides confusion and surprise. He told me he still loved me even after we broke up, but in this he said "like". What is his deal?I'm worried that because I'm confused about this that I'm subconsciously harboring ideas he wants me back, if not now eventually. And if I am habroring, then how do I stop this if he is/isn't interested?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): To the first response, thank you for that advice and insight. Hearing from someone else that this is what usually happens and how to prepare for it helps. This is my first dealing with the ex-factor.
To the second response, we'd been dating for 14 months. The last few of which were incredibly difficult. We were arguing a lot, and realized more about our differences than similarities. I'd actually wanted to end it earlier, to spare more problems, but I kept hope for change.
I don't think he made these comments b/c he felt like I was still interested. He was always more open about his feelings. We kind of joke that he was the girl and I was the guy in the relationship. He'd be the one calling all the time. Our roles were so reversed.
So that being said, I'm not really sure why he said these things. But I'm taking your advice, remaining friendly not analytical, knowing it will be awkward, but determined to focus on my own single life.
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