A
male
age
41-50,
*ceofTruth
writes:Hi I am writing here for some advice on what to do about my past relationship.First we started dating and talking alot when I was in another state and she said she fell in love with my personality. But I had a bad past of sleeping with all types of women and I didn't tell her about it and my ex before her had website for me and everything. But when I got back to the state with her and we could see each other I felt so good to just be around her. What happened was I gave her my password to everything myspace, email, everything cuz it was all the same. Well she went in my email which I never used anymore and saw I was still gettin emails from my ex. I told her I wasn't emailing her but it was hard to believe becuz I had lied about some little things and everything spun up that I was being a deceitful person. Well we were planning to get married and then I had some many things goin on with family that it had started to effect us but I wasn't realizing it. She said that she wasn't seein the man she fell in love with anymore and don't know if he really even exists anymore. We broke up yesterday but I really love her and she says she loves me and I believe her. I think I need to give her time to actually get over my past and see that I am the same person she fell in love with. I am just confused and I just want to be with her. I feel so good just knowing she is there. And when she is having problems it really bothers me. Please help with your advice! I greatly appreciate it.
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male
reader, AceofTruth +, writes (6 March 2008):
AceofTruth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I guess I can say I won her back! Today she asked if when the ring I was gettin made for her was gonna be ready. Thx for all your advice it was greatly appreciated. Oh I had her talk to the ex and the ex admitted to all the things I said I wasn't doin. So now she believes me on that but of course I lied a few times be4 so now I got re-gain her trust and I am workin on that thx again everyone.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): She's probably been hurt before. But I gotta ask "why did you give her your password?" You should've figured she would've done somethin like that. Be wary she might be the insecure type. Goin into someone's email isn't a good sign & it probably won't get better.
But your past matters not near as much as the present. Tell her you're not that guy anymore & he wouldn't be that cuz she makes you feel special. Explain that you were ashamed of some of the things in your past so it was hard to discuss them. You can't do much more than that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): I am assuming you are saying that you totally understand her concerns about this discovery and why she acted the way she did. In other words, if you were her, you would have done the same.
I think if you approach it that way, and start to think the way she is, you will start to find ways to show her that she did fall in love with the man she thought she had.
She is reeling in doubt, scared she nearly got burnt.
You need to rise to new heights in her expectations, show her that you have been honest and upfront. Confess any grey areas and open your heart up honestly to her.
Fight for her and most of all, be real.
All the best, I hope you win her back.
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