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male
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*jtick2006
writes: What should I do me and my girlfreind broke up about 3 weeks ago. Well to start out she has cheated on me twice before when she was really drunk. She kissed two guys. She broke up with me first saying she felt like there was not a spark anymore. Well she also told me the day she broke up with me that the night before she had kissed another guy. So after she broke up with me she told me she kissed another guy and then I cussed her out and I broke up with her.We had been dating for a 1 year and 6 months and she has a lot of problems with her parents. I MEAN A LOT. Her parents are broke up and her dads a dick head. Anyways we both go to college and we have 3 classes toghther wich is really awkward. The thing is she has been giving me the cold shoulder and acting really weird. She has a date tonight with a guy her dad hooked her with. I dont know what to do I have done everything for this girl. I have been there for her when no one wasnt't and now she acts like she could care less about me. I don't what to do I care so much for her yet she has gone wild partying and hanging out with sluts. I feel so lost any help would do great thank in advance.
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Ok and you cussed at her and broke up with her for Kissing someone else....that's a bit controlling. And now you are the official Slut regulator....what are you Stalking her? You know she's hanging out with Sluts...wow...do you know them personally...
You did every thing for her....well...when you broke up...she has evidently learned to Do for herself. You have three classes with her? That will last for another month and a half...
She's acting all weird....Ummm have ya apologised to her for cussing her out? She kissed a guy...she did not give them a blow-job in the student union....maybe she's tired of being treated like property. Maybe she felt taken for granted...thus she mentioned the spark thing and offered to break up....that was your Que to make a huge deal over her wonderfulness and do something especially pampering....cause kissing guy is paying attention and offering the promise of..."come with me...I am fun...and I am going to make sure you have fun instead of whining about stuff and criticizing you."
Ok...that is all the mean stuff....See every relationship goes through the I own you crap...you have been together for ever..(well a year and a half is forever in kid years) you know all the little quirks and some of them really annoy you at this point. You don't make a big deal about each other any more...you just hang around each other constantly and think you can't not be in the same room...but then because of that...you start to bicker a little bit here...then pout about stupid stuff and before you know it...someone has turned her head at a point where you forgot you were still competing. (this happens in marriage too...but then its and affair and gets really messy) In other words YOU got really comfortable that you had WON her...so maybe she's less than worthy...Until
The second someone else might want her.
Then you let your pride jump allllllllll over her....hurt her feelings so bad and did not think of her for a second. And you showed her someone she did not like....This guy who she's loved and has not an ounce of forgiveness in him....not a moment of thinking of her first or trying to understand how she feels or wanting to know why she did that.....just a huge ego thinking he HAS BEEN WRONGED and she must bow and atone for her sins...
Well its really weird. Rather than appear to be chasing you....she's decided not to speak to you...because she saw for certain that You are NOT the person she thought maybe she loved....Sooooooo You don't exist any more....because in her mind...the guy she loved was not the guy who cussed her out and acted like she'd done something so horrible she was not worth forgiving.
Hmm Mean ole Dad has set her up with a date....Cause he knows his baby girl can do better than you...and now they are not having such problems...Cause they are not fighting over the controlling, selfish boyfriend.
You should feel lost....Because YOU LOST! You lost Her admiration, love and you lost the little bit of hope left in her eyes that the two of you were right together...and NOW....You feel alone and lost.
Well then you better find yourself a batch of humble pie and eat lavishly....because She is Moving on...and it is amazing you, that she is dealing better than you are with out the relationship. Being upset that someone else is honing in on your territory is not love.
Do you want her bacK? Then I suggest you do something amazing...and if it does not work....you do something else amazing...and you keep on coming up with things you know She will love....until you win her back or you decide it's a lost cause.
You actually have an advantage over Kissing boy and Dad's date. You know her...you know when she's tired, what her favorite food is, her favorite color...how she likes her eggs and coffee and who her favorite actor is....you have all the tools to wow her if you want to. You know what her favorite flowers are...fill her dorm with them. If you cant afford them. Draw them and tape them to her door with a big I am so sorry written for all her friends to see! Cover her car in spirit foam with hearts and sweet things on all the windows...(make sure you do no damage!!!!) Buy her favorite jelly beans and put little packets of them with a romantic poem anywhere she will be. Some of them may be missed...so what...they cost practically nothing....and you can do it over several weeks so she finds 3 or four every day....but does not catch you. Get her friends in on it....in the name of love. If they have not seen you treat her like a jerk...they will help you.
I don't know if any of these ideas will help you get her back if you want to....but at least you will have made an effort....best of luck and try to not think badly of her actions...it will come through as sarcasm and snide remarks which is not where you really want to go if you want her back. Be respectful above all and you will at least know you tried.
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Let her go. Human nature is to want what you can't have. You are pining for her and she could care less. Hang out with your friends and have fun. Chickens always come home to roost. Trust me, she'll be back but you have to move on and have fun. Let her have her space. She said the spark was gone. I have been there and done that. If you want her back then you have to go forward and not pine for her or seem desperate. Do your own thing and when she does come back (and she will) you have to weigh out if you want her back in your life or not. You might decide later on that you would rather have her gone if you actually start living. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, fallenman  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Going on what you say may be you need to look at your motives for wanting the relationship to go on.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Maybe she still has alot of feelings for you and finds it easier to blank you and ignore you than try to act that everything is okay.
To be fair she said there was no spark between you anymore, she cheated on you, broke your trust, hurt you and is still managing to hurt you now, surely you can see that you are probably better off with her ignoring you and getting on with your life?
Good luck :o)
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