| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I just broke up. We are both without a doubt still in love, but we just don't have any sexual chemistry. We have been fighting,and think it stems from the uncompatible sex. I am not that much of a sexual person, but I would like to change that with him. I am also not 100% comfortable with him. We are hoping that some time off will help. Does anyone have any advice?
View related questions:
broke up, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (1 March 2006):
 This is one thing I have a difficult time understanding. If sex is a good thing, and let's assume it is, why do people with low sex drives not take responsability for fixing them. If you're both content with the way things are, no problem. If one of you needs more sex, make it work. It's not pulling teeth. It feels good. The biggest sexual organ is the brain. You have to decide to do it.
It seems so simple but is often the factor behind many failed relationships as well as affairs. What's the worst thing that can come from having a better sex life. I do think that many times the person who has the low drive feels resentful towards the other. They feel the other is only interested in sex. That's not true because that person is also with you day in and day out. I'm not saying you should give in to things that are extreme or degrading but good sex, with an enthusiastic partner is what most people want. You might find if your enthusiasm is more obvious to your guy he won't need it so often. He'll feel happy knowing that when you're with him, it's because you want it too, not just for him. Nothing turns a man off more than being with a woman who is not interested.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 March 2006):
 YOu have broke up and now want to get back, the sex was not good in the relationship so why would it be any better now, you had chance whilst in the relationship to make it better but you and your partner did`nt so what does that tell you.
If you want to give it another go then you will have to be honest with each other from the start, you will have to become a "sexual person" which for you is against your nature so will be hard.
You will both have to want this more than anything in order to make it work, you will have to spend more time on sex and learn some new positions and techniques.
If you are up for this then go for it, but if any part of what I said gives you a niggle then stay over.
...............................
|
