A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well...my ex and i have been together for 3 yrs. we were goign to get engaged and it ended up all falling apart because of my insecurities. after this i didnt talk to him for 6 months, never once did i call or contact. he would message and stuff. and i would be subtle. finally we met and i found or thought we had a connection like i felt it. anyway, another month went by and we barely spoke. i knew he was seeing someone but i didnt know what the deal was. i found out that he was with someone in the 'break' time which i expected but he told this girl i love u and some of the things he told me, but again, this was expected. i confronted him and he admitted and i decided i do not wish to be apart of this. i know with our cultural backgrouund he canot marry this girl simply bc she isnt apart of our culture, and if i know him and his family, they wont allow it. NOW, i ignored him and today he decides to tell me he wants to be my friend, i thought, not talkgin to him didnt help so why not be friends? maybe he may fall back in love with me slowly, maybe he will see something, i am not the type of girl to run back or be desperate or to want something thats not for me. but if eel this feeling for the first time and im 25 and its magical. despite all he has done, my love for him is so forgiving. ot of spite i asked him if the other girl will also be his friend and he sai dyes but doesnt seem liekly, he did make sure to tell me him and i are being friends to possibly build something again. now i dont know if i shoudl remove myself completely or be his friend and try something. when i wasnt there it didnt help which is why im trying to b thre and "see" if he gets anywhere. also, since he is my friend i will not be kissing him or holding his hand and if this happens, i will let him know he is taking this to the next step. I will also be dating other men, lets see how he deals with this. i mean we are 'friends'im just afraid we will both get closure, btu then again i feel that we wont bc of our bondage.
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female
reader, DerbyGirl19  +, writes (26 December 2010):
It sounds like you've already come to a decision on your own. I think it's a good idea to attempt a friendship with this man. He is obviously someone you have a connection to, so if you still have feelings for him and he says there is a chance of reconciliation, then it would be a waste to cut all contact with him.Be his friend and let him be your friend. You can see other men but prepare yourself to see him with other women. This is only a good course of action if your heart is ready for the worst. Just because you're friends again doesn't mean you will definitely re-start your relationship. If he eventually decides that a relationship has become impossible then you need to accept that and move on.Be friends with him but don't hold your hopes up too high as it will only hurt more if they are shot down.
A
female
reader, MCloves +, writes (26 December 2010):
I feel like if you love him, stay in his life. Don't let him go. Love is so special and if it is really meant to be he will want to move to the next level.
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