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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend recently broke up with me, and says he needs time to think. I love him so much and he says he loves me too. I want him back so much, but what do I do?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 March 2005):
 Give him the time and space he needs, for a start.If you two are going to be a strong couple, you have to learn to give him some time to himself. This is all he's asked for and you can be most supportive to the man you love by allowing him all the time he needs.Of course, some guys use "give me some time" to mean, "I'm not interested any more", but that's a risk you have to take. Look at it this way: if he's really not interested any more, do you think you can persuade him to love you by hanging onto him like a remora clamps onto a shark? You can't.You can only have a relationship with someone who wants to be with you, and you can't "make" someone love you, or love you more than they do. Give your boyfriend a chance to find out what he wants.So, back away, let him know how he can contact you, if he chooses to, and let him know that you'll be glad to have him back. Provided you will be glad to have him back.Then, go and do some fun stuff just for you and forget about him for a while. Learn to love who you are, with or without him. Take a cruise with some girlfriends, chat up a barman, smile and wink at a guy in the next checkout line.Learn to be strong and happy on your own, and hopefully your boyfriend will realise that he misses you. If not, you're still out there, having fun, and liking who you are and developing confidence with other people.Hope this helps, hon.
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