A
female
age
36-40,
*eller
writes:My boyfriend and I had been together for 2 years... When we broke up, we got together one day just to spend some time together. We ended up having sex, and I ended up getting pregnant (Im just making a long story short here). He told me that if I got an abortion, we could get back together, cuz he said he wanted to, but if I had a baby, he wouldnt be able to. Rather than getting an abortion, I ended up losing the baby (cuz I was planning on keeping it.. cuz I wasnt concerned about us getting back together cuz I had more important things to deal with) :(. After my miscarriage, he said he still wanted to be together, but that I just needed to give him some time and space to get "ready" to be in a relationship. He said we could be back together by early May. Now, what I'm asking is... does this make sense? Is he right to ask for time to be ready? Should I give him that time? and If so, HOW can I wait? I really want to be with him again, and it's so hard to wait... any ideas on how to stay patient?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage darling. That must have been very hard for you and the situation that you are going through does not make it any easier. Now, it's important to take care of yourself and remember your worth.First thing's first, I want you to seriously consider whether you are truly "happy" with this guy. To me, it sounds as if you need to start thinking about what it is YOU want, instead of wondering what it is he wants. You see, I believe that you deserve to be with someone who isn't afraid of telling you he wants your child or who doesn't put conditions on you to be in a relationship with him. You deserve to be happy with someone who is actually there for you through the good and the bad times, not with a guy who is capable of letting you down when you most need him.Don't be patient hun. I know it's hard because you've grown to care for him and you've had him around for some time, but if he honestly cared for you, he would not need you to "wait" for him to be "ready" for the girl (you) that he wants to be with. Sadly, it sounds like a lame excuse on his side... when a guy(or anyone actually) really wants to be with you, there's no second thought. Be strong girl, you and even your future kids deserve to be respected better than this. Don't wait for someone who is not truly making you happy. There are greater things in life.
A
male
reader, Ziggystardust  +, writes (7 April 2007):
Hi keller if you dont want it straight stop reading now. Only a fool would give this man any of their precious time. I can understand him not wanting to be a father at a young age. I cant understand anyone putting conditions on a relationship. A relationship is a partnership entered into by two people. The idea is to share everything and make both your lives better and perhaps the same for the people around you. Dont wait for him save yourself for someone special.
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