A
male
age
36-40,
*ackets66
writes:My ex-girlfriend of nearly two years broke up with me 3 weeks ago...She is my first love and first long term relationship. We were high school sweethearts and have been 2 hours apart during college semeters. We saw each other about once a week plus holidays and summers. Reasons why she broke up with me ( from her):Parents are becoming separated and are going to divorce. This has changed her a lot as a person. She said she need some time to figure out what she wants in her life, and if she can continue our long distance relationship. Break up occured the weekend she got back from the Dominican republic, there were guys from her school there and she may be attracted to one of them. We both were having busy semesters and couldnt talk much during the day, only before bed. She insisted on still being friends with me.So... after the break up we have talked once or twice briefly online about how we were doing. I still love her, but i feel like she put me through hell these last 3 weeks. I get a text 3 weeks after the breakup saying "I was wondering if you were going to come home at all for easter this weekend, if u are i wanted to know if you wanted to know if you want to grab lunch or something." I said i wasnt sure of my plans. Then she says, "OK well it would be nice to see you."I will be home on easter Sunday, should I go out to lunch with her???? Or just plan something with the family?Is it too quick for us to be friends?? I still love her... what should i do..I need help...Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): Well you don't want to be friends, do you?
Just be honest when you see her, let her know that you still care. She is probably going through hell with her parents and it's not surprising that she is questioning your relationship, and the general idea of "happy ever after".
You're probably the closest person to her - let her know you want to stand by her but it's too soon for you to think of her as just a friend. Hopefully you might be able to find your way back to each other before you lose your relationship for good, if not, and you need some time apart, let her know that, and that you will be in touch when you can deal with being "just friends".
Don't let her think that you are just too busy or cold or she'll think she was right in the first place to break up with you.
Thanks for your question - I think I've just given myself the best advice for my own situation - "just being friends" is tough!
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (4 April 2007):
 I think she has an ulterior motive for asking you out for lunch. Unfortunately it is too soon to be friends unless you're both super laid back people but it sounds to me like you both overthink things and it'd be too soon. Tell her you'd love to meet up next time you're home but that you need to spend easter with your family. I think you'll get areaction that will tell you what her intention asking you for lunch was.
CD
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