A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up 6 weeks ago because I couldnt cope with him having female friends. We stayed in the same house as neither of us could afford to move out. He has always said there is a possibility at some point we can get back together and I've clung on to this hope but I really cant cope any more. I dont want to throw him out because I know that will definitely finish it but it is so hard to sit in limbo not knowing what's going on. I am so confused constantly and just wish I could switch it all off. I dont want to feel this hurt any more. I cry every day and just dont want to get out of bed. We spoke the other night about the situation and I told him how I was feeling - I dont think he had any idea how bad it was for me. I have been trying to be strong in front of him thinking that if he wants to get back with me then I've got to show him what he's missing and me crying in front of him isnt going to help. He made me promise that if i was going to cry I was to do it in front of him and not hide in the bathroom so we could talk about it but if I were to do that I'd always be crying and surely he is not going to want to get back with that!! He said if I was wanting an answer there and then then he would have to leave because he wouldnt be pressured into getting back with me. After I got upset he said we could try again as 'we probably would have tried again at some point anyway' but he thought it was too soon. I said no as I dont want to pressure him into something he doesnt want. I want him to want to come back not because I'm emotionally blackmailing him.I really dont want to be alone. I have no friends, am the boss at work so no one wants to socialise with me, have a 5 year old so cant get out after 7pm when he is in bed. I just have no prospects for any kind of life. With this life I'll never meet anyone else. I cant stand lonliness. To be completely honest if it wasnt for my son (who is not his) I dont know what I'd have done/would do. I am here for him but because I'm now snapping at him constantly I'm wondering if he would be better living with his Dad. I have tried anti depressants and counselling in the past when I've been down (not as bad as this though) and they didnt help. I have no one to talk to and I feel like I'm going crazy. I hate myself for being so pathetic. How do other people cope? I cant. I just want the pain to go away. I dont want to cry anymore.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hag +, writes (30 December 2006):
The future is a scarry thing for most of us. Stepping out into the unknown is very brave. First, you consider what example you want to set for your son. How would you hope he would deal with this situation? (One day he'll be your age) As a mother you must also ALWAYS look at how you want your son to perceive women and their decision-making abilities.
Now maybe you can have a more objective outlook. Your current situation is reaking havoc on your well-being. Any stress you put yourself through I guarantee you also put your son through. No more wishy-washy hem-hawing. You know what you need. You are just afraid of the change. It is time to take action and make SOMETHING happen. At some point you must let go of the fear of the results of an ultimatum.
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