A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Been married 17 yrs to my high school sweet heart. Got married at 17- thought i was in love- then I caught myself always searching for something. Started working for this company- where I found him- he was my boss- found out he felt the same way- he was always looking for love- said he never found it- we got closer- one thing lead to another- we had been together a year- I moved out- he moved out- he told his wife he loved someone else- and she didnt have his heart- she didnt care- she threatened him with their kids(who are both in college) told him they would never speak to him again- they actually had stopped calling him as much as they were after he moved out- it bothered him- but said he just wanted peace in himself - couldnt live a life of pretending anymore- says its not fair- well, to make a longer story short- his wife found out it was a co- worker( she knew me) called my husband- we all sat in the his living room and talked (strange) -my husband works for the same company we do too- we all know each other-he looks me in the eye in front of my husband and his wife -tells me he loves me- but he cant do this to his kids- we told our spouses that night that it was over- he hurt me- he told me he chose his kids over me- and he cant overcome living for his kids ( they are grown)!! I dont understand what he is doing- he calls me crying and says he is living in gray and it wasnt meant for him to be happy- says he is here for everyone else to be happy- makes no sense to me- i tell him he is not being fair to his wife or kids or me- we still talk everyday- and he tells me he dosnt know how to go on without me- says he dosnt want to- but wont tell his wife he is talking to me again- because of the kids- says he lives in his head- she dosnt care that he dosnt love her- just as long as he is there- this happened about 5 weeks ago- his wife made him call his boss and confess- needless to say- he no longer works here and isnt my boss anymore- and I am looking for another job- cause its hard for me to be here- please give me advice- we want to be together- we had everything ready and planned out- we are both hurting and depressed- and we cant stop-
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): What about the vow that you made to your husband? What about the hurt and pain that you put him through? You are the one who chose to get married at 17.This man that you had an affair with doesn't love you. He loves himself. You need to focus on your husband and beg for his forgiveness.
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