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We both have new lives but he wants to resurrect the old

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2009)
A female South Africa age 36-40, *ortesy writes:

hi im really confused here dont know what to do this guy was my first boyfriend as you know relationships has thier ups-downs.iwas 14 years when we started dating and he was 25yrs ,as i was young lot of things happens between us until we end up not seeng each other.unti we meet again and we used to see each other even we knew that we have our partners,he got his girlfriend and two children and i have my boyfriend and one child.

this guy came to me telling me that he want to change everything between us,he want us to be together again cuase he know deepdown his heart dat im his wife and he want to make things different now.he told me as i know i have my own mistake and he also have his,now its time to start over forget all the past cuase he want to spent the rest of his life with me.

i was hurt before and i dont trust anyone and it hard to me to belive what ever he is sayng he is not married the girl he is livng with,when i ask him about her he said we will solve that after giving him another chance to love me.plz help me should i give hi another chance and belive that he love me as he keep on saying it,i love him but i dnt wnt to be hurt again.

i know he never hurt before but it is hard for me cause father of my son did hurt me,i know it has to be my choice but please i dont want to do what will hurt me in the end.

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A female reader, tjazzy Nigeria +, writes (1 December 2009):

I'll be frank with you, your guy has MAJOR issues. He's a paedophile, he's got issues with self esteem and I suspect he's probably on some sort of drug that makes him act weird. I would advice you, to keep your distance from him, he is seriously BAD NEWS.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

"when i ask him about her he said we will solve that after giving him another chance to love me"

Wrong. If he wants a chance with you, he must end things with her first, and you must end things with your boyfriend.

Always end one relationship before starting another. If you do not end the current relationships first, all that will happen is you will both be cheaters and you will never get past being lovers and end up in a relationship.

If you want him, go through with this the proper and grown-up way. End teh current relationships. Then give him a try.

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