A
male
age
30-35,
*ammy
writes:my girlfriend and I really love eachother, however there is a slight issue. She is close friends to another guy and sees him as her brother but then they used to like eachother in the past, although it was at different time. They would phone eachother late at night and into the early hrs of the morning and it really makes me feel insecure and weird, especially since she has told him things about our relationship as well. Also there is another guy hu sits with her at tutor and it turns out that he is in love with her and often asks to hang out with her although she has turned him down for me... but I still feel uncomfortable with him being near her. Its not because I don’t trust her, I really do, however I don’t trust those 2 guys...Anyway my girlfriend also feels insecure about me spending time with this girl who is a close family friend of mine since our parents are best friends and when our families visit each other, we’d often spend several hours, not necessarily together, but in the same place. Also she is uncomfortable with me talking to my ex gf, so thats been dealt with since ive blocked her and cut all communication with her. However when she saw a picture that said “Myname loves Ex’sName” she got depressed kinda.Do you guys have any suggestions to help us though this...?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Neither one of you feels entirely secure in your relationship; hence the insecurity. This means that while you do not think your girlfriend will cheat or be dishonest (you trust her), you are insecure about the apparent intimacy she has with her male friend, and are insecure that she may develop feelings for the tutor. Don't deny it. ;-) I know better.
I have an ex-boyfriend who is now like my brother. I mean, I LOVE this guy, but the idea of kissing him grosses me out; as if I were kissing my brother. However, my current boyfriend knows how I feel about him, has met my friend, and we’ve turned him into a mutual friend. You should try that.
Your girlfriend can be made to feel better about this family friend if she meets her. Can she be invited to one for the next get-togethers? If she is included, she will likely feel less insecure.
Go through any and all online Facebook type things and delete all things that may or may not make her feel sad and remind each other that if you WANTED to be with (insert name here), you would be. Post a few new pictures saying wonderful things about your current girlfriend.
Send each other cute little texts and emails which enforce your feelings and commitment to each other. Work to make sure you both feel loved and secure and practice pushing out the insecure thoughts.
If the tutor is still a source of discomfort, she can look into getting a new tutor, or you can help her with her studying so she will be able to go without one, sooner.
Good luck.
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