A
female
age
36-40,
*hoez
writes:Hi please tell me what I should doI met this guy K recently and we had great chemistry. Unfortunately he is moving out of the country and we were both attached! We had a great few days together (no sex) but we felt the connection and talked a lot. Then we never meet for 2 weeks or so. On my end, I decided to end things with my boyfriend and I was going through a bad emotional period. I think I sent K a lot of messages, talked to his friends etc...basically turned creepy. Not surprised that K started to avoid me. Some time later I texted him to say sorry I was creepy but I broke off with my boyfriend and I hope he understands and I want to stay friends.Few days after that he asked me to meet up. We met for drinks, and apparently he ended things with his gf too! He said I was a catalyst....not sure if it's me, or the stuff we talked about where I encouraged him to find someone he loves rather than settling down with his ex gf. We had a few drinks and ended up kissing, holding hands like a couple. It was a great kiss.....and he said that he likes me. He admitted he was a bit freaked out when I turned a bit weird but after he understood the context he wanted to talk to me.He is flying out of country next week. I asked if he has time to meet up and he said monday. However, I thought about it and I said he better sort things out with his ex gf (she was still staying with him until next week) and perhaps I'll visit him in his new country. He asked me when I'll go and he'll bring me to a nice bar.I tried to ask him some questions like 'if i didn't tell him about my break up will he still meet me?' etc...basically trying to get a sense if he likes me for real, or he's just confused, or he just enjoys hanging out with me or he's just playing with me given that I made it very clear to him that I like him. He never answered these questions straight.However I think given we both recently broke up with our respective ex-es and he's moving to NY, I get the feeling that he doesn't really want to talk about it. He said 'he will tell me over a drink'. I understand no point forcing it at this moment in time tooCan some gentlemen out there share what he's thinking and what I should do? We still sms very often and I think I am a bit eager. But again we are in our 30s and I don't want to play games. I'm running out of time (he's leaving the country) and I just wanted to try my luck.......I know it is probably not what the dating rule say.....and he probably thinks I'm too easy.......but I couldn't help thinking about him all the time
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 There is a possibility that he is not broken up with his girlfriend. He could be telling the truth but I wouldn't take that chance. Is a long distance relationship what you really want? The relationship could be on when his girlfriend is away and then off when he decides he wants to be with his girlfriend again because she is close by.
Being easy is not the problem. It is a free world. He probably does not give a lot of thought after he goes back. It's just that you can't find a local guy to do this with. You don't know him that well. You kissed and made out just because you were broken up and it won't be cheating. You would find chemistry with a lot of guys who want to have sex with you. Just don't fly over for something that's in great supply. He is probably very flattered that you will travel to him instead of finding a local guy. He's so happy so he won't turn you down but don't think that because relationship is what you want he will want the same thing.
I can bet he is not even thinking about relationships at this moment. He is only playing with you if he says you are his soulmate and other nauseating statements. He got quiet when you talk about serious things. He has reason to. You just broken up. Don't you need to take a break to erase memories of your exes?
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